I want to bleed. Bind me. Slap me. Torture me. Whip me. Fuck me. Fuck. There it is. The voice in my head that speaks only to me, and it says the vilest things.
I know I’m not supposed to go, because this isn't a spicy romance novel. This is my real life, and I can’t get caught up with unrealistic, sick fantasies.
“Oh, give it a rest, Alina. You care more about that porn than you do me.” “Fuck you,” I bark with a pointed finger. “It’s literature, you piece of shit,
YEAH YOU PIECE OF SHIT! it’s literature, beautiful literature
your desire is more than just BDSM. You like pain specifically. Everything else on the BDSM spectrum is just icing on the cake for you, but the foundation of it all is pain. By definition, you're a full-blown masochist. Wow.”
I guess you got the title right,” I say, wiping my face as I shuffle over to the door and end up next to Nas. “A Lesson in Ruin. I’ve learned a valuable lesson about trust, and you definitely ruined everything for us both.