Mila

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They are often high achievers who climb to positions of power and privilege from which they have the resources to make their lives as safe as possible. Others take control by avoiding people, hiding from a world that seems merciless. Either way, life is predictable, and no one gets close enough to hurt them. The boredom and loneliness of either kind of controlled life seem like a small price to pay to minimize the threat of reinjury.
You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships
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