It is important to remember, however, that your ability to remain the “I” in the storm is strongly related to your ability to be the primary caretaker of your own parts. Before my parts trusted that I could care for them no matter what happened with her, I could never have resisted automatically reacting to her. The stakes were too high—her words were like knives piercing the hearts of my little exiles because they were so desperately attached to getting her love. My protectors had no choice but to counterattack or to put up walls. Once my parts came to trust me, those knives became blunted
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