Nicolas Capens

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When our partner acts like one of our parts, we will relate to them in the same way we relate to that part. If we judge ourselves as ridiculously weak when we feel sad or needy, when our partner’s vulnerability triggers our own, we’ll overtly or covertly judge our partner as weak. If we learned to view our assertive parts as selfish, we’ll be uncomfortable with our partner’s assertiveness.
You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships
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