The Trail

by Ethan Gallogly

“Syd, how were you able to maintain such a long and happy marriage?” He looked at me strangely, tilting his head slightly, then became thoughtful. “It’s not easy, and I’m not sure I can explain exactly how to do it. It takes patience. It takes the right person. And it takes work. You have to listen to each other, and you have to want to put the other person ahead of your own desires, because you love them.” “I thought relationships were about compromise?” “Not in my experience. If you always have to compromise, you’re either with the wrong person, or you’re not putting her needs ahead of your own. When you really love someone, you naturally think of them before yourself. There’s no need to compromise. I’m not saying it always works like that. Sometimes you have to stop and ask yourself why you want something, what is it your partner desires, and find a balance between conflicting needs that makes you both happy. It takes a lot of inner listening. But the first step is patience.” Why was patience the first step? Patience for what? I got that you had to love the other person. That sorta went without saying. But after you found the right woman, wouldn’t everything just sorta work out? Or was that all just some Disney-inspired fantasy? I couldn’t really recall Ma and Pop ever fighting, but maybe I’d just been too young? “Thanks Syd.”