The Trail

by Ethan Gallogly

the good goes hand in hand with the bad, like medicine and overpopulation. It’s hard to predict how change will affect the future. The best thing we can do is live our lives to their fullest now and be the best person we can.”

Old Man Sai Loses a Horse. The story goes something like this,” he began, One day old man Sai loses a horse when it jumps his corral. Everyone in the village tries to console him, but the old man asks, “How do we know this is really unfortunate?” After some time, the horse returns leading a fine stray. Everyone in the village comes to congratulate him, but the old man asks, “How do we know this is really fortunate?” Sometime later his son is thrown while trying to ride the new horse, breaking a leg. Everyone comes ’round to console him again, but again he asks, “How do we know this is really unfortunate?” Soon after, the country goes to war and soldiers come to his village looking for conscripts. This time his son is spared because of his leg. “The point is,” Syd concluded, “we never really know what fate is. Sometimes a tragedy may really be a new opportunity.”

“Syd, how were you able to maintain such a long and happy marriage?” He looked at me strangely, tilting his head slightly, then became thoughtful. “It’s not easy, and I’m not sure I can explain exactly how to do it. It takes patience. It takes the right person. And it takes work. You have to listen to each other, and you have to want to put the other person ahead of your own desires, because you love them.” “I thought relationships were about compromise?” “Not in my experience. If you always have to compromise, you’re either with the wrong person, or you’re not putting her needs ahead of your own. When you really love someone, you naturally think of them before yourself. There’s no need to compromise. I’m not saying it always works like that. Sometimes you have to stop and ask yourself why you want something, what is it your partner desires, and find a balance between conflicting needs that makes you both happy. It takes a lot of inner listening. But the first step is patience.” Why was patience the first step? Patience for what? I got that you had to love the other person. That sorta went without saying. But after you found the right woman, wouldn’t everything just sorta work out? Or was that all just some Disney-inspired fantasy? I couldn’t really recall Ma and Pop ever fighting, but maybe I’d just been too young? “Thanks Syd.”

He was right of course—I couldn’t stack the stones until I relaxed my mind, and once I did, it was calming. I don’t think I could have done three. Well, maybe. Maybe with practice. And then it clicked: A good relationship is like stacking stones; it takes patience, listening, and finding the right balance. And even when things fell down, if you had the right frame of mind, you could stack them back up, or find a new balancing point. The key was patience and an open mind.

“Why do Communists drink only herbal tea?” I joked. “You know, I’ve been meaning to say something to you about your jokes. You often use them as a substitute for real conversation.” “What do you mean?” “Take that cocktail party at MTR. Most of the time you were with Kydoime, you were telling jokes. There’s nothing wrong with using one to break the ice, but don’t fall back on them as a way to escape real conversation. You asked me about relationships yesterday. One of the most important ways to build a strong relationship is to open yourself up to someone. Let them see who you are. Otherwise, what are you going to talk about when the jokes run out?”

Finding my way down to the stream in the moonlight, everything lit up under its soft glow, like in a Bolton Brown drawing. I sat there, just watching the water flow by. It was like looking at life. Then I saw a small trout hidden among the rocks, almost motionless, its body waving gently back and forth, keeping it steady against the current. “As I watched, the moonlight took on an almost iridescent rainbowlike glow. It’s hard to describe, but I could almost taste the different colors. The trees of the forest seemed to grow faces and I could almost touch the silvery network of roots and fungi running off from my hands beneath the soil, my entire body rooted to the spot.” There musta been something in that drink he had, like the ’shrooms I’d taken in my frat days. “The flowing water became the eternal stream of time. The trout would eventually die and be carried off to the ocean, but new things would be born and live on from its remains. I realized I was the fish, and the fish was me. That everything’s connected. That we all swim for a while against the current, until one day we’re carried off by the flow.”

What images come to mind when you see the struggle of the fish as it finds death? What images come to mind when you imagine your own death? How do the images are the images similar and how do they differ? Do you feel peace or struggle (anxiety) with the image? Do you want to improve or maintain your perspective based on where you are at in your life journey?

when I’m pursuing some goal, like dating a woman, or buying a car, my whole life becomes focused on the future. All of my energy gets wrapped up in how good I’ll feel later, and I simply can’t enjoy where I am, like I do here.” “The Buddhists call such distractions Samsara, the world of false illusions. People chase these illusory desires, only to discover they’re still unhappy.”

Samsara. The trick that endless goals and desires plays upon on our mind. True happiness is always found in the present.”

foxtail pines we saw live thousands of years, we get about eighty, while a dog may get fifteen if it’s lucky. But it’s not about how long we live, it’s how we live that matters.