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“I’m not sweet, Amelia.” he spits. “I don’t turn up at girls’ houses to watch movies. I don’t buy them lunch or bring them coffee. I don’t let them sleep in my bed or steal my clothes. I don’t get jealous when a guy so much as looks at them. I don’t get in fights with their ex-boyfriends. I sure as fuck don’t introduce them to my mother. I’m not that guy.”
“Sometimes, I find it hard to look at you,” he murmurs, “because you’re so fucking beautiful I can’t think.”
“You’ve fucking ruined me and I don’t like it.”
Oh my goshhhhhhhhh
“Stop staring at me.” “I like staring at you.” The tingling in my lips amps up a notch when he swipes the bottom one gently. “Do it a lot.”
Something downright feral glinting in his eyes, Nick begs. “Please, querida. Let me.” And what the hell else am I going to say other than a breathless, enthusiastic fuck yes?
Oh, God. Why? Why? Hot, sweet—most of the time—and he works in a bookstore? Be still my freaking beating heart.
“Marry him.” My groan echoes around the living room. “Luna.” “He teaches you self-defense. He beat up Dylan. He brings you coffee. He works in a bookstore.” She flicks a finger up with each sentence, her voice becoming squealier and squealier as she counts all the reasons why I simply must become the next Mrs. Silva. “He’s fucking perfect.”
I agree
“I can read too, you know.” “You can?” Nick drawls sarcastically, proving the third time’s the charm when he angles the chair again and Ben finally tumbles out. Waving a dismissive hand at the kid mumbling profanities and discreetly waving a middle finger his way, Nick claims the recently vacated seat. “I’ll keep that in mind next time I need a nursery rhyme corrected.”
I love them together 🤠
“Not gonna lie, Amelia,” he twirls a strand of hair around his finger and tugs, “you’re hot when you’re jealous.”
He’s utterly absorbed in what he’s doing, pausing every so often to skim a blurb or flip through a couple of pages, and briefly, I linger. I’ve remarked many a time on how Nick is a man worth admiring, and apparently, rings true even when he’s doing something as mundane as working.
“No one else,” he murmurs, the scissoring of his fingers inside of me almost frantic. “Just me and you, querida.”
As I sit there listening to Cass joke and gripe about how I’d be the last person he’d let near his sister, I’m wondering how the hell I can prove to him, and to her, that she’s the last person I want to hurt.
Contentment settles in my chest as I sigh her name. Reaching up, I swipe a thumb down the bridge of a freckled nose, grazing downturned lips before sloppily cupping her jaw. “Beautiful girl.” When Amelia frowns, it takes me a second to realize I’m not speaking English. And when I repeat the sentiment in the language we both understand, pale cheeks redden. I grin, goofy as fuck, but I don’t care. I fucking love that blush, and I love it even more when I’m the reason for it.
Ok I need him
“You’re gonna fight someone for staring at my ass?” “Querida, I wanna fight people for staring at your face.”
“Gosto mais de você do que desejo.” “I don’t know what that means.” Nick laughs. “Me neither.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll save you if it gets too much. And Nick will be there if you need a distraction.” Oh, Cassie. You have no freaking idea.
“You have full permission to touch me whenever the fuck you want, querida.”
I still have one hand tangled in her hair—the other is braced against the bookshelf again to keep me from fucking collapsing—but it’s all her, all my wild fucking girl.
I thought watching her come apart on my fingers, on my tongue, was the hottest thing in the world but I’ve been proven wrong. Watching her slowly, achingly slowly, trust me is far superior.
Ben’s yippy voice can’t pierce it. He’s flitting around like an over-excited puppy—the annoying kind, a little ankle-biter—and cooing over the small arena housing the event, fawning over the other boxer, assuring me not to worry because I’m still his favorite,
I love Ben 😭😭 he’s too cute and bringing all the laughter for me
All I can do is hang onto that single finger, and I hate that too.
I hate it so much it makes me sick. I hate the secrets, I hate her ex-boyfriend, and for one long, angry second, I hate how much of me I’ve let her have when she doesn’t even want it, not really, not enough.
Awww my heart hurts for him cause I feel like I understand and can connect to his situation so much.
A pair of dark green boxing gloves sit neatly inside, a roll of hand wrap the same color tucked beside them. Underneath them, a Brazilian cookbook peeks through. Sitting prettily on top is a colorful woven bracelet. “The book is from me and Sofia made the bracelet,” Ana explains, and I suck my bottom lip into my mouth with a sharp breath. “The gloves were Nico’s idea.”
The dark green gloves 😭😭
When I flip through, I note a bunch of scribbles in the margins, a myriad of highlighted quotes. One in particular catches my eye; I will go with thee and be thy guide, in thy most need to go by thy side.
“It was my dad’s favorite book,” he explains, a definite tremor muddying his words. “And mine.” Maybe this can be your favorite too, are the words written on the title page, and in a rare occasion, I’m stunned into silence. He got me a book.
“Hey, Tiny?” Ben whispers into the quiet darkness. “I’m sorry your mom’s a twat but I love you, if that makes you feel better.” Forcing my eyes open, I tilt my head and offer Ben a sleepy smile. “I love you too, kid.”
Love Ben
Ben’s chin finds my head, hands still stroking me to sleep. “I’m really glad you kicked me out of Greenie’s that one day.” “Me too, Benny. Me fucking too.”
“I need to leave because you are everywhere, all the time, and I can’t fucking think straight. I can’t fucking breathe, Amelia. I can’t stop wanting you and I hate it because you don’t want me.”
Awhhhh Nick nooooo
Home, I realize. That’s what kissing Nick feels like. Safety and peace and home.
“I’m serious, Amelia. If you don't tell him, I'm out. I'm not sneaking around anymore like we're doing something wrong when we're not. You deserve so much fucking more than a quick fuck in a parking lot, meu amor, and if you won't let me give you that, then I'm done."
“For the record,” she sniffs, “you deserve more than this too.” So give it to me, querida.
“You’re not fine, Amelia. You’re hurt but I think you’re too scared to be or you don’t want people to see you like that so I booked a room here for a few days. No one knows you’re here, I told them you went to your dad’s place, so no one’s gonna bother you. If you want, I’ll stay but if you wanna be alone, that’s okay too. I’ll go home and collect you at the end of the week. It’s completely up to you but I think you need to stay and just hurt for a little.”
This man is THE BOOK BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW
The way he makes me feel, the way he looks at me, makes everything else fade away and seem insignificant. He helps. Conflictingly, that fear-mongering emotion in his eyes helps.
“My fucking beautiful girl,” he whispers way too loudly for my liking before leaning in for yet another public display of affection.
How could I, when I have this beautiful fucking girl writhing on top of me? My beautiful fucking girl.
“Beijos por favor, meu amor.”
Omg he’s so cute I can’t
A chaste brush of lips is what I offer but it’s not good enough for Nick. He dives in for more, swallowing my half-hearted protest, gripping the back of my neck to hold me in place as he peppers sloppy, drunk kisses all over my face until I’m squealing and giggling like a silly, besotted girl. “Jesus Christ.” Someone, or possibly everyone, cackles. “And they’re surprised everyone knows.”
He is so fucking perfect. So patient with me always. Kind but firm. Sweet yet so fucking nasty at the same time. Loving. He listens to me. He knows me. He loves me. I don’t deserve him, I really don’t. I don’t deserve to love him, but fuck I do.
“But Nick is so good for you. Cass will see that eventually and I don't want you to ruin it before he can.”
Kate opens the door and reveals a delivery guy laden with food. And I mean laden; he's got like three bags in each hand, each one adorned with the logo of my go-to takeout spot. What the hell? “Uh,” Kate gapes at the sheer volume of food, “I think you have the wrong address?” With an entirely unnecessary eye roll, the delivery guy glances at the receipt and recites our address in a bored tone. “That's us, but we didn't order anything.” “It's for a..." He squints at the lengthy piece of paper. “Querida?” Shrugging, he regards us with a blank, unbothered expression. “Everything’s paid for. You
...more
“This is different. I wasn’t your boyfriend then, I was—” “My distraction?” I tease, winding my arms around his neck, playing with the soft curls at the nape. “Pining? Wistfully waiting for me to fall in love with you?” “All of the above,” he rasps. I’m not entirely sure it’s a joke.
“So, you approve?” “Approve?” Another booming laugh sounds. “He has a good job and studies hard, he takes care of his family, he treats my daughter well, and he puts up with not one, but two of my kids. Any man who can manage all that is worthy in my eyes. Heck, I might even be a little in love with him."
I love their family so much
“I just got you back. I wasn't prepared to have to share you so quickly.” When he drags his eyes to meet mine, the intense vulnerability in them makes my chest ache. “If my sister and my best friend are in love and spending all their time with each other, then where do I fit in?”
CASS BABY OMG NOOO
This is what I was afraid of losing. Comfort. Friendship. Family.
“because I was so terrified of losing you.” Grip tightening, he rests his cheek atop my head. “Never gonna happen, Tiny.”
“Wait, what do you mean the first time he left?” “Hasn't left your side once, Tiny,”
I didn't think it was possible, but somehow he's gotten even hotter in the last few months. I think it's the sun, to be honest. I swear to God, it favors him. He's all extra golden and extra bronzed and extra annoyingly perfect. And all mine. The love of my fucking life.
And now I love Nick, not with just my heart, but with my entire being. There isn't a part of me that doesn't love that man.
I wish you could've experienced love like this because I don't think that's what we had. I don't think I was it for you. Nick is it for me.
Awwwww I love her acceptance throughout these letters.
Matthias Samuel Silva. Cass thought it was weird naming him after you but he wanted to name his first kid Cass The Second so he clearly knows jackshit.
😭😭😭😭
