Engineering Management for the Rest of Us

by Sarah Drasner

typically have an employee read aloud every list item in their current role to me, then self-assess the progress they’ve made on each item.

During the career laddering process, we also get to talk through what the employee shouldn’t be doing.

Clarifying the value of an employee’s tasks can be incredibly useful for someone who may be an over-performer but are burning out.

It’s tempting to think that over-performers need less guidance, but I’ve found that they tend to need more clarity on tasks, not less, in order to define scope and help point them in a good direction.

The progress is tangible, as everything is documented, and that forms a partnership between both of you. The work is just a unit within something measurable on that path.

A lot of things are misattributed to laziness that have some other root cause, and yet they appear externally as laziness.

What are their personal goals? What are the company needs? Are we able to address the above two with the work being done? Ask what they think we could do together to make further progress. Restate the expected outcomes and clarify that they can reach those outcomes however they think is best, allowing them to iterate on their tactical plans if necessary.

This may even mean letting go of people if they are doing active damage to everyone around them, and don’t respond well to clear feedback.

the higher your position, the more you scale yourself to help others.

At their root, 1:1s should reduce uncertainty by making both parties feel more connected to the rest of the team while clarifying intent.

The whole purpose of the 1:1 should be to make the other person feel valuable and connected.

there’s too much work, spend time talking through the most important pieces, and even perhaps offer yourself as a shield from some of the work.

This makes it easier to know where to start on a task and how to move forward.

you can communicate the necessity of the work at hand, then the employee can align with the goal of the project and the work can start to feel more rewarding and valuable.

That means the manager’s job in a 1:1 is to provide a space for the employee to speak clearly and freely about concerns, particularly ones that might impact their performance.

The more you manage, and the bigger the teams you manage, the more you have to focus on outcomes.

Your job is now to align people to the outcomes instead of tactical details of how to get something done.

More than anything else, we have to be clear.

In fact, if a whole group of people don’t understand or take action, the chance is that you, the manager, are the common denominator for why something is blocked.

Because some people communicate better in one medium than another, using all of these platforms becomes a strategy for repetition without nagging.

Acknowledging issues is important, but even the slightest misstep can demoralize people.

When communicating, it’s worth asking yourself what context people need to see the bigger picture. Erring on the side of saying more, not less, can help build trust.

Some things that may look like transparency are actually toxic. Think gossip, manipulation, and unproductive venting that pits one person or group against another.

even though change is hard, I have seen more damage done in situations where people failed to change than those who made mistakes during change.

In order to make real change, we need to connect people to the why.

In this process, it can be tempting to talk down the old way of doing things. I have made this mistake. Don’t do this, because you risk people feeling like you don’t value their previous accomplishments, and that you don’t understand that people tried their best, given that context.

We focus more on critical feedback than positive feedback, because critical feedback is tougher and the stakes are higher when it goes wrong.

We want to learn and grow, but we also want to feel accepted.

Feedback that is perceived as negative can be tough to give because you’re in essence trying to navigate against a person’s natural neurological response.

don’t ever expose someone’s growth in a way that belittles them. Don’t tolerate this or any kind of bullying from your team members, either. This will stifle growth and trust.

Are you giving feedback to truly see this team member grow? What’s the best possible scenario that can come out of this?

Feedback is a tool and can be weaponized for our own insecurities and blind spots if we’re not thinking things through.

Would you give the feedback at all or in the same way if this person looked like you?

They can’t argue with the way something made you feel, and by providing a specific example, you are talking through a specific action rather than condemning their character.

Align them with a vision for why this feedback is important.

Without guidance, people may feel like they’re left on their own to navigate the problem. If you’re worried about being too prescriptive, you could also stop short of making a recommendation and ask, “Is it okay to make a suggestion?”

Why is this information helpful to them? But details also help you steer away from an ad hominem attack,

When you’re celebrating someone, be as loud about their accomplishments as you can so they feel valued.

In this situation, you don’t start by giving feedback, you start by asking for feedback.

also find that people are willing to own up to things themselves in this framing, because you’ve shown it’s safe to do

tend to give myself a section to just write through the facts of what happened, and then another to write through my feelings of what went poorly and what could have been better.

you have to be careful to ask for it when you are mentally equipped to receive it.

your job as a leader is to try to keep yourself open to feedback, criticism, and still evoke calm.

Fair or not, you have to try your best to keep your cool and unpack the situation with them. Getting mad will do nothing productive.

Feeling defensive can be a great indicator that we have a blind spot.

When something feels particularly threatening, try to consider it as an indicator that you may have some internal exploring to do.

It also gives you an opportunity to chew on the information without figuring out next steps right away.

What values does this person have that you may have not honored? What values do you have that pertain to this situation?

ego can be important for understanding where you are, where you sit, and what you need.”

His ego resilience meant that people could give him productive feedback, and his feelings were not hurt.