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More often, conflicts are the result of a misalignment of values, and neither person is attempting malice against the other. If their needs aren’t met and they aren’t communicating in a way that someone else with dissimilar values can understand, that may be detrimental to their relationship.
Doing work to understand values as a team can help members see one another as people, and understand where they are coming from. The act of sharing values can also have a side effect of building trust and vulnerability on a team.
“All criticism, attack, insults, and judgments vanish when we focus attention on hearing the feelings and needs behind a message.”
As we’ve mentioned, misalignment with too many fundamental values can lead to burnout. And this type of burnout can build slowly over time.
When people talk about “good” managers, they are likely referring to people who show care and appreciation for people’s values, and also respect their boundaries.
The truth is, your team needs to know you’re human. You can’t fix problems if you don’t know about them, and no one will tell you about them unless you make space for them.
