“I said I poured glitter all over the house.” I choked on my laugh. “What?” “Five gallons of it. I put it on the blades of the ceiling fans too. For later. I got a ladder and I took so much of it and I poured it up there so when they turned on the fan—” I descended into a fit of laughter. “It’s not funny, Jacob! I’m not proud of this, this isn’t how rational people behave!” “No, you’re right,” I said, wiping at my eyes. “You should be in jail. I’m calling the police.” “Jacob!”
