Glimmers of You (Lost & Found, #3)

by Catherine Cowles

“I don’t think grief is linear. Some days are easier. Others will take you out at the knees.”

“Not everyone gets that. Some people just want me to be better. Who I was before.” “But you’re never going to be that person again. This changed you.”

I shrugged, not wanting to reveal the truth: that I watched Caden with a single-minded fascination. So, I’d seen the change. It had come on slowly and yet all at once. A darkness that hadn’t been there before. But it was a part of him, and I couldn’t help but love it the same way I loved the rest of him. It just made those glimmers of his light shine that much brighter.

“Gigi?” Panic lit his voice. “Hmm?” “Stay with me. Stay awake,” Caden commanded. I wanted to. I always wanted to be with Caden. But I was so tired. The darkness pulled me under, but not before I heard his voice calling after me. “Don’t you leave me, too.”

Caden might have saved my life, but he had slammed the door on our friendship, taking away my secret keeper, my resting place, my person, and replacing him with a coolly casual acquaintance. So, when I’d woken up from the coma, I hadn’t just lost the normal future I’d planned for. I’d lost everything. Because I’d lost him.

At the first touch of Caden’s lips, I was lost. Heat and need swirled around me as my lips parted on instinct, and his tongue slipped inside, stroking. A buzz lit low in my belly—one I’d never felt with any other kiss, no matter how much I’d searched for it. That buzz deepened into a hum that spread through my muscles, making my knees weak.

When Caden finally pulled back, I blinked up at him and could only think one thing. He’d completely ruined me.

Kissing Grae was like downing a shot of whiskey set on fire. She burned through my system in a way that would leave scars in its wake.

“I think I’ve got something that can solve both of our problems.” She looked up at me skeptically. “What?” The corner of my mouth kicked up. “Be my girlfriend.”

“I’ve always known Gigi was special. It only takes a second in her presence to realize that. But when I came home this time, I just couldn’t stay away. She has this pull. Makes you want to lean in and get as close to that light as possible. Makes you want to do better. Deserve her. I’m just lucky she gave me a shot.”

“That’s true.” Roan’s voice cut across the room. He hadn’t moved, but he stared me down with a lethal gaze. “But her heart’s more tender than you’ll ever know. And if you hurt her? I know lots of places to hide your body where no one will find it.”

Now, I saw her all the time. Couldn’t help but breathe her in—that scent of honeysuckle with a bite, just like Grae herself. And then there was the way she understood me. How she got straight to the root of any situation and knew how it would affect me.

There were a million reasons to stay away. But I’d always been greedy when it came to Grae Hartley.

“You’re a good man.” The muscles tensed beneath my palm. “Don’t.” “You’re a good man.” Caden swallowed. “Gigi…”

“You are. The best. Always there for your mom. The best friend to Nash. Always jumping in when someone needs you.”

“I thought you wanted to murder me.” I shrugged. “Murder’s my love...

The door opened, and I froze. Grae had a beauty that shone every single day, in every state, no matter what she wore or how tired she was. But I wasn’t used to seeing her like this.

I didn’t miss how everyone’s gaze, both women and men, traveled to Grae. I couldn’t blame them. She had the kind of beauty that held you captive. But it wasn’t just skin-deep. Her light radiated from somewhere in her very core. It pulled you in and didn’t let go. She was an addiction, and you’d do anything for more.

It didn’t matter how many walls I’d put up or how much I’d tried to reinforce them while the two of us had played this risky game of pretend. She’d snuck behind my defenses, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

“I can’t stay away from you anymore. I tried. I tried so damn hard it killed something inside of me. But I can’t do it anymore.” “Why?” I whispered.

“I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you.”

“I’m right here. I’ve always been right here. I thought y...

Caden shook his head, and I saw so much pain in his eyes. “I’ve wanted you for longer than I ever should’ve. I tried to hide it, to shove it down. Bu...

“Sometimes, I think how much we open ourselves to potential pain is the same amount we make ourselves available to joy. You can’t have one without the other.”

“You deserve the world, Gigi. To be taken to dinners, on trips, to drown in flowers.”

“I don’t need fancy. I just need you.”

I’d never been serious about a woman before. Had never been willing to take that risk. But with Grae, it was as if I didn’t have a choice. She had burrowed deep before I had the chance to fight her off.

I needed to feel her body pressed against mine. To remember that while my world was falling apart, I still had her.

“You okay?” “Do I have you?” “Always.” “Then I’m okay.”

“You always have this way of easing the worst of it. How do you do that?” “Because I see you. Even when you try to hide from me, I see you.”

“I don’t want to hide anymore.”

“I will only ever see the best things when I look at you. I’ll only ever see the truth.”

“How?”

“Because you’ve always been that glimmer of light for me. A beacon of hope. Even when...

“You shine so brightly it terrified me. Worried if I ever lost you, my world would go black.”

“But I’m right here. No matter what happens, we always seem to find our way back to each other.”

“Love you, Gigi. I always have. Every moment we were side by side. Every moment we were apart. I think the times I pushe...

“I love you, too. Even when I didn’t want to, I couldn’t burn you out of me. ...

“Sometimes, it feels like the necklace brought me back to you. You’ve always been my guiding force. My internal compass showing me the way. And now, I have to give yours back to you.”