Dig

by L.A. Ferro

I have zero missed calls from Holden and only one text. I left him at 7:00 am this morning, and we said two hours. He wanted to go home, shower and change. Then we would meet up. His text came through at noon. Holden: Please don’t do this. That was it. Nothing more. I debate texting him back and think better of it. Texting him back would just give him hope that there’s a chance I would see him again. Not texting him back leads him to believe I’m running, which was the plan anyway. He doesn’t need to know the real reason I never replied to his text. What would I say? 'Sorry, when I got home, my ex had called the police and told my parents I was sick, so I spent the remainder of my day discussing my condition with my parents and pre-med brother. Endless questions about why I am the way I am and how they can fix me.' No, this needs to end now. Even if my physical scars weren't enough for him to leave, my mental ones would be.