Dig

by L.A. Ferro

"I’ve been dealing with this on my own for so long. I’m not trying to shut you out. That’s part of the problem, though, right? You think I’m doing something to you. No one ever understands that my selfishness isn’t because I don’t care about them. It never has anything to do with anyone but me. I don’t think about who I might hurt in the process because I’m too consumed with me." In the background, I hear someone yell, "Hayes we’re on." I know he had a doubleheader tonight, which is another reason I didn’t want to text or call. Holden is dedicated to the sport and doesn’t like distractions. All of this is a distraction. I try to shake off the self-doubt I feel creeping up. I hear him let out a long breath before gently saying, "Aria… I gotta go, pretty girl." My heart feels like it cracks into a million pieces as I hit the end button on the call. I want to cry, but I’m done feeling sorry for myself. This is why I didn’t want to get involved in the first place. I know I’m a lot to handle, and in my present state, I don't have the emotional stability to deal with it either. Fuck my life.