"No, I don’t think you’re fat. Why would you ask me that?" Then, throwing her hands into the air, she says, "Because we are the exact same size." I shake my head adamantly in response. "No, Oli, I’m about two sizes bigger. My stomach is soft—" She starts unbuttoning her jeans and pulling them down. "What are you doing?" "Apparently, something is wrong with your eyes, so we’re doing this instead. Take your pants off and put these on." She’s standing there in a thong, holding her jeans out for me on one finger to try on. "You’re serious?" I quirk an eyebrow at her. "Do I look like I’m joking?"
