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‘That’s all fine and good,’ I said, ‘but you did figure out how to trust me.’ A grin swept over his face. You quite forced me to.
Em, he interrupted, and somehow the sight of those two letters alone turned my insides to mush. Come here. I clenched my fists, scowling at him. ‘I don’t think I should.’ He quirked up an inquiring eyebrow. ‘If I sit in your lap you’re going to be so stupidly seductive and … muscular,’ I grumbled, ‘and then I’m going to accidentally touch your wings—’ Accidentally, he repeated dryly.
As you wish. He sat a fraction straighter, unfurling his wings. But only if you come sit here with me. ‘No wing stroking,’ I said, sending him a warning glare. ‘Accidental or otherwise. And no smouldering faces either.’ Promise. Amusement twisted his lips. Unless asked, I’ll try not to appear in any way alluring or tantalising. Although it will be a considerable effort, of course.
Just that I love your sharp edges so damn much. There was something painfully disarming about the simplicity of those signs – something vulnerable that made every retort sizzle out on my tongue. Watching you trying to turn yourself into something soft and pliable for the rest of the world is a very special kind of torture.
I’d take offense if you did, he signed dryly. I like you loud and utterly undone, cactus.
And you’ll figure it out. Because you’re my prickly little warrior, and you always figure it out in the end. He kissed my forehead, full lips lingering against my skin for one blissful moment before he pulled away. But allow me to help you until that time. Tell me what you need. Tell me what you want.
You figured out I cared about this stupid voice of mine. His signs were hurried and jumbled. Most people would have used that against me. You should have, too, but what did you do? Taught me your bloody hand language, even though you despised me. Do you have the faintest idea how wildly confusing that was?
I’d rather keep a thousand secrets than cause you hurt. But …
‘Oh, you’re most welcome,’ Zera said dryly. ‘What were you planning to blush about – that temple business? Don’t worry about it. If I had to smite every couple to have a go at it in my sanctuaries, I would never have a free minute in my life. Glad you had a good time, at least.’
‘You love yourself first,’ she said without a moment of hesitation, settling her bag back into its usual corner. Without that impossible weight in her hands, even her words sounded lighter. ‘And then you see who celebrates that and who tries to stop you.’
Just because people have reasons doesn’t mean they’re right. Reasons are easy to come by. It’s wisdom that creates the true challenge.’
Go ahead, my lovely turnip.
I’m realising that I barely looked over my shoulder during this fight. His signs were stiff and hesitant, as if his fingers weren’t quite sure yet what to make of his thoughts. It’s … surreal. Battling alongside someone I can actually trust with my life.
I can’t see myself through your eyes, cactus. It feels too close to a lie. But I can feel you see me.
I want you to realise in the very marrow of your bones that last time you showed yourself to the world, you became the world to someone.’
I love you so much it fucking hurts, Em. How could even those signs look, somehow, like a door about to slam in my face? You’ve taken that ugly black heart of mine and brought it back to life, and I’m not sure it can even beat without you anymore. But I can’t have half of you. I can’t let you go every single time someone so much as looks at us with an unkind eye. And I definitely – that sign was a wide swing – am not going to listen to you telling the world we’ve broken up for whatever ungodly reason you come up with, true or not.
