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October 4 - October 5, 2023
The conversation with my parents just reminded me why I am fighting so hard to keep my life as normal as possible. This is my second chance to have some of the experiences I missed out on by not attending regular schools as a kid.
“Only you could get asked out by one guy and then literally fall into your mystery crush’s arms five minutes later.”
I pull out my phone as I enter the kitchen. No new texts. He doesn’t even have my number, so I’m not sure why I am disappointed, but there it is. I am pathetic. I want him to show. I want him to show so badly.
She wears her emotions on her face and her heart on her sleeve. I dig that about her. Most girls her age want to play it cool, but not Jane.
I watch Jane’s expression morph from terror to confusion to shock to anger to betrayal in the span of a few minutes. I had two orders: keep Jane safe and be discreet. I’ve failed at both.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Arch nudges him, and his lips pull into a small, knowing smile. “She thought he was into her and when she found out who he was, she realized she was just a job.” “She wasn’t just a job.” The words are out before I can pull them back. Arch’s smile just gets bigger. Fucker.
Why can’t I just find a nice guy and be a regular college girl like all my friends? Why did I have to announce to the world that I was Ivy Greene? Why, why, why?! Oh yeah, because I thought I could merge my two worlds without any consequences. Stupid me.
“Favorite color?” He doesn’t answer right away, and I assume he’s not going to. He’s such a stickler. But just as a test paper is handed back to me, his voice is back in my ear. “Green.”
Suddenly keeping him here feels more important than kissing him. Even though I really, really want to kiss him.
“And also,” he says, voice low. “Even if it wasn’t my job, I’d do whatever I could to keep you safe.”
“I’m good at my job, Jane. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise.”
By Thursday, all my brothers are in love with Jane.
Hendrick is hanging back with Felix. Dahlia grins at me. “I think my boyfriend has a dude crush on Hendrick.”
I want to be near her, and she wants to not be alone. For tonight, we can both have what we want.
“I want to kiss you again more than I want my next breath,”
He stares at me like he sees every piece of me—the good, the bad, all of it. Like he sees me and he still thinks I’m someone worth protecting.
“I want you, Hendrick. Kiss me. Fuck me. Make me forget my name. And yours.” One knee drops to the mattress, and he hovers over me. “Don’t forget my name. I want to hear you scream it.”
She’s so carefree despite the heavy things going on in her life. It might be my favorite thing about her.
When he smiles like he is right now, all big and carefree, I don’t mind so much that I didn’t have those experiences. Whatever my life was or wasn’t before, it led me here with him.
“To Jane,” Dahlia says. “The next twenty years are going to be twice as much fun as the first because now you know all of us.”
“I said I was your boyfriend because I wanted them to know that you’re mine. Bodyguard, boyfriend, friend, whatever you want to call me is up to you. I’m yours and that’s all that matters. But to everyone else, I want them to know that I’m the guy they have to answer to if they hurt you.”
“Ah, isn’t young love the best? That’s hypothetical of course, seeing as I have no experience with it, and you aren’t that young.”
“You’re my undoing,” he says. “You fucking own me.”
He thinks I own him, but he has it backward. I’m his. Every piece of me.
“Who would have thought that we’d be hanging out and boys would be blowing up our phones begging us to hang out with them?”
