Lex (Unexpected, #5)

by Cora Rose

“What if they don’t let me in?” he asks, his eyes frenzied, his hand sweating in mine. “I’m not family.” “You are,” I say, as we step in line at the reception desk. “You’re her grandson.” Lex’s breath wooshes out of him as he runs a hand across his cheek, his eyes meeting mine, glassy and wide. “Stop it,” he whispers to me, pulling me into him and pressing a kiss to my mouth. “Stop being so fucking wonderful.”

“Well, they should place more value on care. This is ridiculous. People could be meeting Jesus right and left in here without anyone monitoring them.” “I’m not meeting Jesus today,” she says. “Not yet, at least.”

“I’m just so happy to see you and William together. I’m glad that you have each other. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for both of you. So when the time comes, I can die a happy woman.” Lex shakes his head. “Do. Not. Even.”

“I love you, Bren,” he says, turning to meet her eyes. “I mean it. Don’t do reckless things…like walk around.” My grandma reaches out and runs her hand along his cheek. “Love you too, Lex.”

“I am consumed by you,” he says, running one of his hands through my hair and tugging on it. “I have never felt this way about another person.”

“Still, we should be waiting outside to be the first ones in.” “This isn’t Disneyland,”

“Don’t worry so much. I’m fine.” “You are not fine.” She sighs and then rests her head against my shoulder. “You need to stop worrying yourself so much. I’ve lived so very long, Lex. When I go, it will be okay. I’ve had such a good life, made only better by having you in it.”

Dealing with the sorrow, with the regret. I’ve lost so much in my life. And now I’ve lost one more. “It’s okay. You’re okay,” William whispers, his lips on my temple. “Come back to me, Lexington.”

What if he leaves me too? What if I lose William? I’d never recover. Never.

“Leo, my brother, died when he was six,” I say, staring blankly out at the rain. “I watched him go slowly. It was cancer. He was my best friend. He looked up to me, ya know? But I couldn’t save him. He just got sicker and sicker, until he was too weak to fight anymore.” I huff out a breath and close my eyes. “He was all I had and one day he was just gone. I feel like it’s happening all over again.”

“Who’s going to love me now that she’s gone?” I whisper. William reaches over and clasps my hand. “Me, Lexington. Me. I will love you.”

This is so hard. But I know I can get through it with him here with me. I can do anything with William by my side.

I know because I feel similarly. The only reason I’m still functional is because I have to be strong for Lex. We can’t both fall apart. He needs me right now. He’s counting on me, whether he realizes it or not, and I will be that pillar for him.

“I can’t do it.” “Baby,” I whisper. “We have to.”

“I forgot to ask, are you okay, love?” Lex asks, his voice hoarse. My throat is sore and my eyes feel heavy but I smile sadly as I shake my head. “No, I’m not but I’m strong for you, Lex. I’ll be strong for you.”

“Are those my pajamas you’ve been working on?” Lex asks. “You betcha.” He runs his hand over the fabric of the adult-sized footie pajamas and meets her gaze. “There are dicks on this. You used a dick pattern?” “Yeah, so? You like cock.” He laughs and nods, and the sound is like a balm to my broken heart. “I do. Thank you, Martha.”

“Don’t cry, William. I mean, what the fuck am I saying? You can cry. Go ahead and cry, love.”

I have no family now. I have no one but Lex. He seems to be the only solace from the pain in my chest. The only hope I’m clinging to. I need him more than I’ve ever needed anyone.

“I think she knew it was coming soon. She hinted at it a lot. I shrugged it off and scolded her for it…but I think she was trying to prepare me. I just think there’s no way to really prepare yourself for losing someone like that.”

“Okay, now is the time to give him the food, August,” Emery says. “Before he starts bawling. Because if he starts, I’ll start. It will just turn into the great flood.”

Suddenly the thought to call my grandma pops into my head and I’m momentarily breathless. I realize I won’t be able to call her ever again. The voice I’d come to love is gone forever. I’ll never hear her say my name again, to tell me she loves me. Fuck.

Dear Lex, My sweet boy. The moment you walked into my life you were mine. I want you to know that I see you as my son, my grandson, a part of my heart. I love you dearly and have so enjoyed getting to know what a wonderful, bright, and caring man you are. So, take heart, be brave, and hold onto hope. You will find love again once I’m gone. You have been loved by me and you will be loved again by another. You deserve the world, Lex. Thank you for letting me be a part of yours. Love always, Brenda.

“It has my face all over it. You’re wearing a Lex shirt.”