“There’s a world of difference between someone who uses violence against you in anger and one who does so in controlled and agreed to conditions. One is abuse. You didn’t consent to that. You never signed up to being beaten. They decided to violate your bodily autonomy to gain power over you by force. Someone who uses impact play is given power over you, until such point as you withdraw it. They use that gift to perform a scene that is mutually satisfying for both people, and then they are careful to ensure you come down and feel safe afterwards. No one can make you feel bad without your
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