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“You and I both know if you’re presented with a cookie jar, you’re going to steal a cookie.” I put my hands up in a gesture of surrender. “I’m not going to steal this cookie. Besides, I know how to make my own cookies.” His brow furrowed. “That kind of sounded like a masturbation joke and I totally didn’t mean it that way.”
“People make me nervous, especially if I don’t know them. I never know what to say and I worry about what they’re thinking and whether I look stupid or they think I’m crazy or weird. I get anxious when I go somewhere new. I worry about getting lost or something unexpected happening and being unprepared or not knowing what to do. I don’t like feeling uncertain.”
“Well, fear does serve a purpose. It keeps us out of danger.” “Sometimes. And sometimes it just gets in the way.”
“No, I mean cat mom. According to Google, it’s primarily the female cat who cares for her kittens. The cat dad might help her out, but it’s just as likely that he won’t. My little squeaker here doesn’t need a cat dad, she needs a cat mom.”
I had the basics, but my Princess Squeaker was no basic bitch. She needed some good shit for an awesome kitty life.
“Friendship and sex are my favorite.” “See? This works for both of us.” “So basically you’re telling me you want joint custody of my dick.”
Gavin grabbed me, lifting me off my feet, and spun me around. I threw my arms around his neck and suddenly he was kissing me. Right here, in front of everyone. And in that moment, I had a terrible realization. I was madly in love with Gavin Bailey.
“Because I don’t think you’re sure at all. I think you’re afraid and you don’t know how to handle it. You’re not asking me to marry you because you know you want to marry me. You’re asking me because you’re scared, and for some crazy reason, you think a ring on my finger is going to make the feeling go away. It won’t. That fear is still going to live inside you, and until you face it and put it in its place, it’s going to keep eating away at you. Trust me, I know all about fear. I’m scared of everything.”
“You can, Otter. Because your spirit knew them, and your spirit remembers. Even when our minds don’t hold onto our memories, our spirits do.”
“When you put your hand on a stone, or the side of a mountain, what does it say to you? It says I am immovable. I am as permanent as the earth itself. But we know that isn’t so. Water flows relentlessly past the stone, grinding it away to sand. Gavin, you have the spirit of water in you. Relentlessly flowing from the mountain to the sea. You were a surprise, but you were also inevitable. There was nothing that was going to stop your spirit from entering this world.”
“He was Otter, too. Playful, mischievous, and a bit of a trickster. And he loved water every bit as much as you do.”
“There’s no rule book that says a relationship has to start at step one and proceed to steps two, three, and four,” Cara said. “And if there is, fuck the rule book. Be true to yourself, kitten whiskers. If you aren’t ready, tell him to slow the fuck down and date you like a good boy. But if Gavin’s ring on your finger feels like the right thing for you, then don’t be afraid to take the plunge.”
There was that feeling again. Like something was crawling through my stomach and leaving tiny footprints behind. Was this fear? I didn’t like it, but maybe I just needed more practice managing it. It made me think about Skylar. She felt like this all the time, and she did shit anyway? Holy fuck, she was amazing. I loved her so much.
Grace was so excited, she’d brought me a t-shirt that said, Soon-To-Be Trophy Husband. She’d gotten it from her brother Cooper.
