ILYBSM: I Love You Both So Much

by J.E. Birk

3way group chat Five years ago Embry [photo] Embry Shit, sorry. Sent that pic to the wrong chat. Adam EMBRY FUCKING MATTHEWS Adam IS THAT AN ACTUAL SIX PACK Embry You know I go to the gym Adam So do I! I don’t look like a fucking porn ad! Embry I’m gonna choose to take that as a compliment. Adam [gif of girl nodding] Adam Jeb, where are you? We haven’t heard from you in like hours. Jeb Oh sorry just been busy. Adam Is that code for jerking off? Embry You’ve been holed up in our dorm room for hours. You sure you don’t have a girl up there or something? Adam Jebby? Why aren’t you answering us Adam Fuck jebby do you actually have a girl up there? Jeb No girl! Nothing’s going on! No one’s here with me. I’m trying to study that’s all Jeb Jeez back off Adam Okay, sorry! Didn’t mean to bug you. But did you see Embry’s abs? I named them. Embry OMG can we not do this Adam Sorry, we’re doing it. So far they’re Mona, Lisa, Carlotta, James… Jeb I don’t know what the two of you are talking about I didn’t see any picture Adam Seriously? How’d you miss it? Embry CLAIMS he accidental-chatted us a kinda-nude. I totally think he did it on purpose though. Jeb What? Why? Why would he do that? Adam Jebby, I was kidding. Are you okay? You seem kind of wound up today. Embry Yeah, sorry if I made you upset or something with that pic. It really was an accident. Jeb You didn’t make me upset! Nothing made me upset! Jeb It’s fine I’m fine everything’s fine Adam Yeah, I’m totally convinced Adam But so...