Still Beating (Lost Boys, #2.6)

by Jessie Walker

I’m not fine, Way. I’m not fucking fine, and neither are you, and this, right now, saying goodbye to you, knowing just how not fine you are, but not being able to see you, kiss you, touch you, and breathe you in… It’s straight up agony.

It’s insane. Loving him this easily… Like every piece of me was made for every piece of him.

Unhealthy, my ass. This love is just straight up primal. Our need for each other ingrained in us as deeply as our need for air. Inescapable. Losing him would literally kill me, and I don’t care what anyone has to say about that.

But tonight, right now, he’s mine to hold. Mine to protect. Mine to shield from what tomorrow might bring. It took fucking forever for him to let me see him like this. To let me in. Months spent trying to be stoic and fierce as he helped me fight off my demons… Only for the demons at his back to gather an army and pull him under when we least expected it. When he could no longer hold them back alone and I was left grappling.

“One day, I’m going to get it through your thick, stubborn skull that you matter.” He stills. “Not just to me, but especially to me.” I swallow tightly. “That you don’t just…” —I wet my lips, searching his bright eyes— “disappear when no one’s looking.”

might love you harder when you’re at your worst, but that’s only because you need it harder then. But my love for you when you’re at your best?” I release a breath, smiling. “It’s unmatched. It consumes me.”

“One day, I’m going to get it through your thick, stubborn skull that I love you even more when I’m happy.”