Powerless (Chestnut Springs, #3)

by Elsie Silver

Plus, I remember how Sloane looks at a man when she really wants him. And she isn’t looking at her fiancé the way she used to look at me.

Tonight and every summer night after, she sits with me. I don’t invite her. She’s just there. And sitting with her is peaceful . . .

I shouldn’t be salivating over him on what was supposed to be my wedding day. But salivating over Jasper Gervais is part of my personality at this point.

Jasper has always been a sweet boy. But god, he grew up to be a damn good man.

“That’s probably what you tell all the girls, Gervais.” “Nah, Sunny. You’re my only girl.”

I’m grumpy and miserable. The world is dark, but she’s like the moon when we sat on the roof.

Everything in the world feels wrong. But standing here with Sloane in my arms feels right.

I’m too tired to focus on anything other than how the water is the exact color of Sloane’s eyes. I was wrong about the sky. I was wrong about the eggshell. It’s the glacier lake. I see her everywhere.

I drift off staring at the crystal-blue water. Daydreaming about the girl with crystal-blue eyes.

I sit up and stare. It could be a painting. A photograph. A beautiful woman in a beautiful lake.

Because I’ve been staring at Jasper Gervais since I was ten years old, and suddenly . . . he’s staring back.

I’ve never known a soul more truly present. The way he is? It speaks to me. It always has. He’s like a warm blanket that I want to wrap myself up in. And when his eyes are bright and his smile is soft like right now?

Jasper: I don’t like talking to people. Sloane: You talk to me. Jasper: You’re not people. Sloane: Lmao. What am I then? Jasper: My person.

When I looked over at Sloane beside me and saw her beautiful blue eyes clamped shut, fingers gripping the seat, shoulders scrunched up to her ears, I realized it could be my last moment with her. My last moment and she would never know what she is to me. How much she is to me. That she’s it for me. And that’s just fucking insane. Like a waste. Like for a man who knows loss so intimately, why would I ever set myself up to lose something so precious?

My brain might be in bitch mode, but my heart? My heart is in slut mode.

“See, Sloane? You can wear someone else’s ring, but we both know you’ve always been mine.”

Because no matter what else is going on in the world, everything is better with her in my arms.

It’s like she and I are tethered together, but she’s the strong one. The pillar. And when troubled waters wash me downstream, all I have to do is follow the rope that ties me back to her. It always leads me back to her.

My rock. My comfort. The boy with the sad eyes and the heart of gold.

“No, Sunny. I shouldn’t be scared. You’re the least scary thing in my life. You’re not just tattooed on my skin. You’re branded on my heart. Woven into the fiber of my being. The most constant and reassuring person in my life. When I close my eyes, I see you. When you’re away from me, I dream about you. When I need someone to lean on, you are always there for me. God. You’ve loved me when I haven’t even been able to love myself.”

“I love you, Sloane Winthrop. I always have. I love you so damn hard I don’t even know what to do with it. You’re my person. And I think I’m yours too.”