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“That’s Jasper. He’s one of us now.”
“Basically, she knows if she needs something, I’ll be there,” I add without thinking.
Because I knew her dad was back in the city, and I avoid him at all costs.
“Where’s the wild girl I remember? The girl who danced in the rain and would crawl onto the roof so I didn’t have to be alone on the bad nights?”
Plus, I remember how Sloane looks at a man when she really wants him. And she isn’t looking at her fiancé the way she used to look at me.
He’s consumed every corner of me since I first laid eyes on him, and he’s never looked at me as more than a little sister.
Violet is standing outside the door, doing an excellent imitation of a deer in the headlights, while her massive husband, Cole, towers behind her like he’s ready to murder someone. He always looks like that though.
But as usual, she doesn’t shy away from my darkness—after all, she’s my Sunny. She chases away the dark just by being herself.
“No.” Jasper says from behind me as I reach forward. “Yes,” I reply, grinning as I turn back to him, holding up one of his jerseys. Number one emblazoned across the back.
“Nah, Sunny. You’re my only girl.”
I have tunnel vision and all I see is Sloane.
The world is dark, but she’s like the moon when we sat on the roof. Bright and pure, shedding a silvery light over everything so that I can still see where I’m going.
but I turn away to stare at the crystalline glacier lake out the windows. I’m too tired to focus on anything other than how the water is the exact color of Sloane’s eyes. I was wrong about the sky. I was wrong about the eggshell. It’s the glacier lake. I see her everywhere.
Sloane keeps me close because she worries about me.
Because I’ve been staring at Jasper Gervais since I was ten years old, and suddenly . . . he’s staring back.
The way he is? It speaks to me. It always has. He’s like a warm blanket that I want to wrap myself up in. And when his eyes are bright and his smile is soft like right now? Forget it. He’s breathtaking.
It doesn’t matter that my love for him is pathetic and tragically unrequited. It just is. The sky is blue. The grass is green. And I’ve loved Jasper Gervais from the first day I laid eyes on him.
With Jasper, friendship is love.
He’s constantly trying to blend into the background, but even when he’s hiding, I see him.
“Sunny, you’re gonna make me lose my mind.”
“Good,” I murmur against his mouth. “We’ll be insane
I’ve thought about kissing Sloane for a long time now, whether or not I’ve wanted to admit it to myself. In fact, she almost took the last name Woodcock for the rest of her life because I’ve spent so long thinking rather than doing anything about it.
My last moment and she would never know what she is to me. How much she is to me. That she’s it for me. And that’s just fucking insane. Like a waste. Like for a man who knows loss so intimately, why would I ever set myself up to lose something so precious?
Fuck, I want her. Sloane is soothing. She’s the eye of the storm. True North. Somehow our compasses always bring us back to each other.
“Times have changed, Sloane. I’m not scared anymore. You’re not my fucking friend. You’re just mine.”
Everyone in my life has treated me like the tiny ballerina inside a jewelry box. Nice to look at and cute to listen to when you’re in the mood, but easily shut away when you have something else to do. I’m furious with myself for smiling and spinning every time someone opened that box. I’m angry at myself for not flipping them the finger and refusing to twirl around mindlessly. I’m not angry at anyone else.
It’s all directed at myself. And somehow I’m harder to forgive. I think deep down I expected better of myself.
I won’t be the girl who goes along with what everyone else around her wants. I’m going to speak up. I’m going to get comfortable disappointing other people to avoid disappointing myself. I won’t apologize for doing things the way I want to do them.
I thought you were just a friend. But him telling me to stay away? Him telling me I couldn’t have you? It broke something inside me. Telling me I wasn’t good enough for you? All that did was make me want to be good enough for you.”
“You have always been good enough for me.”
“Seriously, get fucked, Gervais. Go snuggle with your secrets, you exhausting, broody asshole. I’m not leaving this mattress. I’m putting my foot down.”
“I told you that you aren’t sleeping here. And I fucking meant it.”
“See, Sloane? You can wear someone else’s ring, but we both know you’ve always been mine.”
I told myself I would only be mad about seeing that sparkly fucking ring dusting over my tattoo for four fucking seconds. And it turns out I’m a big fucking liar.
But it’s what’s inside her that’s so special. Her heart. Her brain. Her capacity for empathy. She’s unusual. She’s too damn prone to do what people tell her so she doesn’t ruffle any feathers.
I feel so seen only I don’t have a rough burly cowboy to comfort me over it 😣😩
With Sloane the rest of the shit in the world doesn’t matter because when I’m beside her, it always feels right. It soothes me. She soothes me. She always has. She’s that person for me.
This morning I’m feeling every year of our pent-up frustration and wondering why I bother resisting when everything about us feels so damn inevitable.
They found him. He’s safe. They found him. He’s safe. They found him. He’s safe.
I see Cole, Violet’s husband, approaching us. Appearing all dark and foreboding—but he isn’t. Well, unless you’re the dumb sucker who slighted his wife, then he has the same switch Beau does as a military member. The switch that flips and they turn into the man who can kill you with their bare hands.
You’ve both been so in love with each other for so long. I saw that hug. Plus, I saw the look on his face that day when I first spilled the beans about your engagement. And on your wedding day?” She snorts. “I think he was looking for a reason to barge in there and break you out. Poor emotionally stunted idiot that he is.”
“I feel like I could crumble under the weight of not wanting to disappoint you. I’m paralyzed by my fear of losing you.”
I’ve seen all the darkest parts of you and I’m still here. I still want more. Stop trying to scare me away. It isn’t going to work.”
“Tell me you’re mine, Sloane.”
“I’m yours, Jasper. I always have been.”
“And you always will be,”
It dawns on me that I don’t smile much, period. Don’t usually feel inclined. But with Sloane, they crop up out of nowhere. There’s a special power in being able to make a person smile just by existing.
We know these women. They are insane.”
Cole straightens. “Watch your fucking mouth, Dalca.”
HE DOES NOT PLAYYY😩😩😩🤣
None of that shit matters. Because we’re me and you. We’re us. Unlikely and inevitable all at once. We’re forever.”
“I know I don’t need to tell you that you’re only allowed to touch my pussy when I say so.”
Got me clutching my pearls sir
