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What I don’t realize is that I’ll be fighting the urge to stare at Jasper Gervais for years to come.
“I mean, you look beautiful,” I rush out, grimacing when I note her eyes widening. “You always do. You just don’t look . . . happy?”
Plus, I remember how Sloane looks at a man when she really wants him. And she isn’t looking at her fiancé the way she used to look at me.
Sunny. I wonder if he knows what that nickname does to me. How it makes my stomach flip.
What kind of man stops in the middle of breaking me out of my sham of a wedding to rub my sore feet? A damn good one.
But salivating over Jasper Gervais is part of my personality at this point.
“Maybe if I drink enough of these”—I lift the six-pack, feeling a little loopy—“I’ll invite you to join me.”
She’s got dirty feet and is wearing an expensive, ripped wedding dress for a marriage that didn’t happen. Her life is in shambles, and she’s still here comforting other people. Sloane is selfless. She might not look it, but she’s strong. She’s a got a huge heart. A gentle soul. And watching her comfort Harvey right now, I let myself admit that the way I love Sloane might not be how one friend loves another at all.
after all, she’s my Sunny. She chases away the dark just by being herself.
His lips twitch as he watches me closely. “I love the way your brain works, Sunny.”
Concealer is my best friend.” “I thought I was your best friend.” The statement
“That’s probably what you tell all the girls, Gervais.” “Nah, Sunny. You’re my only girl.”
I have tunnel vision and all I see is Sloane.
I’m grumpy and miserable. The world is dark, but she’s like the moon when we sat on the roof. Bright and pure, shedding a silvery light over everything so that I can still see where I’m going.
Everything in the world feels wrong. But standing here with Sloane in my arms feels right.
“You don’t need to worry about me, Sunny.” I don’t look back when I hear her soft response. “I always worry about you, Jas.”
Because I’ve been staring at Jasper Gervais since I was ten years old, and suddenly . . . he’s staring back.
It’s impossible to look at Jasper smiling and not smile too.
Jasper: I don’t like talking to people. Sloane: You talk to me. Jasper: You’re not people. Sloane: Lmao. What am I then? Jasper: My person.
For Jasper I’d do anything. Except actually tell him that.
It reminds me of myself in a way. A fragile shell. One little crack and the entire thing is liable to burst open.
I sobbed. I broke for him, wanting to take some of his pain and make it my own. If the universe wouldn’t help him share the burden, I decided that I would do it myself.
“Because I think I’m about to fuck everything up between us.” And then he kisses me.
“Sunny, you’re gonna make me lose my mind.” “Good,” I murmur against his mouth. “We’ll be insane together. I’m so tired of doing it alone.”
“You’re not alone. I’m right there with you.”
And kissing Sloane in this truck is not one of those. It’s a moment I fully intend to hang onto. In the past, I was told to stay away from her. In the past, I cared about that warning. In this moment though? I don’t give a fuck.
My last moment and she would never know what she is to me. How much she is to me. That she’s it for me. And that’s just fucking insane. Like a waste. Like for a man who knows loss so intimately, why would I ever set myself up to lose something so precious?
I’ve given my demons enough of myself already—they can’t have her too.
Except for Sunny. She’s the girl I tell everything. The girl who was always there on my worst days and darkest nights. Not because I asked her to be, but just because that’s what we are to each other.
Fuck, I want her.
“I never outgrew it, Jas.”
“Because he sucks the life out of you!” She rears back, clearly shocked by the volume of my voice. “And I want to breathe it back in.”
“Times have changed, Sloane. I’m not scared anymore. You’re not my fucking friend. You’re just mine.”
My brain might be in bitch mode, but my heart? My heart is in slut mode.
He’s looking at me like I’m his.
I’ve never felt more important to someone, and the man hasn’t even touched me.
He glances up now, seeing where I’m pointing, and lifts his left arm. I get a full view of the tiny ballerina inked on his skin. It looks like the ones inside a jewelry box I’d been thinking about earlier.
I’m mad at him for all the things he hasn’t told me. But I’m also attached to him. Probably already forgiven him. Most likely irretrievably in love with him.
“See, Sloane? You can wear someone else’s ring, but we both know you’ve always been mine.”
With Sloane the rest of the shit in the world doesn’t matter because when I’m beside her, it always feels right. It soothes me. She soothes me. She always has. She’s that person for me. I’m out of my depth with her but this is Sloane. My Sloane. No matter what, we’re there for each other. My Sloane.
always wondered when you two would notice the other.” My head flips to her. “Pardon?” “You and Jasper. You’ve both been so in love with each other for so long.
“I feel like I could crumble under the weight of not wanting to disappoint you. I’m paralyzed by my fear of losing you.”
“It’s always been you, Jasper. It will always be you.”
She’s still looking up at me like I hung the moon. Like she always has.
Sloane laughs. She’s light and bright. She’s Sunny. She makes me smile so hard my cheeks hurt. I can’t take my eyes off of her.
Because we’re me and you. We’re us. Unlikely and inevitable all at once. We’re forever.”
I love him. I love him like that girl ten years ago never could have imagined.
Even doing boring stuff is infinitely less boring with Sloane by my side.
Jasper: Sunny, you’ve always been my girl.
And I realize it then . . . I’d do anything to see this girl smile.
