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It’s not that I don’t know how to talk to people or that I dislike people... well, I do dislike a lot of people. It’s just that something has always felt off. Like I don’t belong.
It’s not that I think I’m better than most people, I just know there’s more to my life than a white picket fence and some stale American dream. I’m not sure what my destiny is, but I know it’s got to be more than this.
Who in their right mind would invite all of these people here when they have so much interesting—and very stealable—stuff?
“You like to see the best in people; that’s not a bad thing.” “But you don’t?” “No.”
Or maybe it has to do with wanting a man to be able to take control of me, for once. I’m always in my own head, and I just want the release of not constantly overthinking.
I drive off quietly, wondering if you get an automatic A in a class if a professor dies.
Thank fuck, I don’t have to worry about stress-induced heart attacks, or else I’d probably have had more than I could possibly count.
Dressing like this has a way of making you feel powerful in a simplistic kind of way.
“You can’t just ask a girl about her gifts, Lilith.”
Maybe I need to be more honest with Lilith, but that involves me being vulnerable, and that sounds fucking terrible.
“He didn’t know about you, but he must have felt you calling him. You’re wanted and special. Never let anyone put you down, you’re meant for great things, Blair.”
Staring into her eyes, I tell her the lie she needs to hear. “I’m your dad, and I have a very busy job. I visit as much as I can. You won’t remember how we met, and you won’t remember my friend. You’ll just remember that I love you. Happy Birthday, Blair.”
A long and happy life is far more important than having an heir or a created army.
Great, now he’s a hot dad!
I could start living this new life that I want. The life that I feel guilty for wanting. I’m a demon, and it’s about time that I start coming to terms with that.
He’s attractive, but he seems sad, and well, sad boys aren’t my type.
“Eyes are up here, love,” he teases, and I swallow. I’m not going to look at Satan’s dick. I’m not going to look at Satan’s dick.
She might not like who I am, what I’ve become, but we will always be sisters, even if we’re realms apart.
She’s chosen the angels, and now I need to choose me, no matter how much it hurts.
I’m in Hell, and I’m ready to start living like it. I might not have my sister anymore, and maybe when I feel less numb, I’ll grieve the loss of that relationship, but right now, all I want to do is indulge and forget.
If I’m so fucking horrible, the villain, a monster? Then it’s about time I started acting like it.
Well, let’s let him fucking watch, shall we?
“Only I can give you this, and you know it. You want to come, you want to dance. You come to me.” “But–” “Know that if I see you with another demon, you’re condemning them to death, Lilith. I don’t fucking share, and you belong to me whether you want to admit it or not.”
I can give Lilith everything she wants in private. I’ll treat her how she deserves within the walls of this manor, and that’s going to have to be enough.
“You can’t just finger fuck a girl in a hallway and then not say anything. It’s rude.”
My soul is a deep shade of gray, and I’m okay with that.”
“This life can be whatever you want it to be. But I can tell you that living in the past isn’t going to be what makes you happy. I’d like you to consider this new life as an upgrade and include me in it.”
“I’d give you everything,”
“I fucking hate you,” she sneers. I don’t taste a lie, and I know I’ve ruined the best thing that could have been mine before it even really started.
“I’m going to kill that rat-fucker one day,” I tell Elvor, and he nods in agreement. “I’ll help,” he says, and I smile. “At least one man in this fucking hellhole gets it.”
She died in my arms at the hands of a demon. One of my kind killed her while others laughed and stared at her body like it was entertainment. Not like every piece of my afterlife was coming to a complete standstill.
All I’m left with is the sound of waves and my grief.
She didn’t deserve that. She should have happily lived her life in Heaven, not worrying about me. Yet again, I feel like I failed my sister.
I remember that I’ll be spending the rest of my existence alone. Without Diana in my life, time means nothing to me. The thought of living forever without the promise of what Lucifer and I could have been or without Diana makes me feel like I’m in a void that I’ll just have to figure out living in.
We entered and left the world together, but knowing that I still exist and she doesn’t… how am I supposed to live any quality of life?
I didn’t really care for children before I died, but as a demon, I don’t really care about hitting one either.
It’s annoying that she looks just like her father, but I can’t hold it against her that her dad’s an asshole.
“Sometimes, when you’re powerful, others will try to put you down, so you don’t reach your full potential.”
“We all need allies. You’ve got to find someone who has your back.”
Is it too much to ask to be put first?
It’s strange how disappointing some moments in your life can feel.
“How can someone live for so long and be so fucking stupid?”
I want everything for her, even if it isn’t me.
“I’m not saying she doesn’t belong here. What I am saying is that everything that has happened has been out of Lilith’s control. She needs time to figure out what she wants. Wouldn’t you rather her want to be here willingly instead of forced?”
It might be pathetic but I’ve become a bit of a stalker. I can’t help myself, and it’s moments like this that make me hate that Kas was right. I never saw that smile in Hell.
That I want Lilith to want me, that if she doesn’t want me then what does it matter? Her safety comes before my singular want.
“No offense, my lord, but I think you need to get more inventive with your kills.” “Why fix something when it isn’t broken.”
I don’t feel like I’m living.
“Why couldn’t you have just been on my side? Maybe I wouldn’t feel this hopeless,”
If I got psychologically examined—could you imagine?—
