Where Time Stands Still

by N.S. Perkins

Besides, if I did feel something for her, it wouldn’t only be sexual attraction. She’s someone I would want to get to know. Someone I’d want to explore, to discover what makes her cry or light up. Someone I’d know everything about.

“Okay. But I’m driving.” He huffs. “Not a chance.” “Why?” The grin he gives me is annoyingly cute. “My mamá raised me right.”

“Nunca me habia sentido asi por alguien.”

“When are you going to realize that making you happy makes me happy?” I’m afraid that she’s going to think I’m too much, but instead, she blinks and grins softly. “You’re too good for me.” “Wren,” I say as a gush of wind drags snow around us, shining in the moonlight. “Nothing could be too good for you.”

In this moment, I realize if there was one thing I could wish for, it would be to live in a world where time stands still. Where Aaron and I could keep living without growing old, our bodies stuck in this place in time. This way, nothing would stop me from begging him to stay with me. I wouldn’t ever get sick. He’d never have to say goodbye. We could just be, together.

“God, how can you not see I’m so in love with you I can hardly breathe?”

“You can let me go all you want in the hope it’ll convince me to move on, but you’d be wrong to do that, because I can tell you I’ll never be able to love anyone the way I love you. Letting you go would not bring me any happiness, cariño.” He brushes the back of his knuckles against my cheek, making my eyelids flutter. “Quite frankly, it would kill me, and I would never get over it. That, I can promise.”

“You want kids, and I can’t give you that.” “I never said I wanted kids. I said I didn’t know.” He licks his lips. “And what I’m sure of is that I’d much rather have the certainty of you than the possibility of something I might never want.”

“I don’t care that you don’t love yourself enough to believe I’d be lucky to be with you.” A kiss is pressed to the crown of my hair. “We’ll work on that, and in the meantime, I’ll love you enough for the both of us.”

Maybe not all love stories need to last a lifetime. Maybe the most beautiful ones are the ones that develop despite the fact that they won’t.

“I could also promise to love and cherish you until death do us part, but I assume this is a given. So, instead, I’ll make you another promise I think you need to hear.” He takes a step forward, our bodies two magnets. Hands in mine, he murmurs, “I promise to remember everything.”

“I’ll remember the Sunday mornings we spend in bed with the dogs barking for us to get up and come feed them. I’ll remember the way you take your coffee, and the feel of our kisses, and the hugs we share before falling asleep, with our legs intertwined. I’ll remember how it felt when we jumped from that waterfall in Belize, you shrieking and me laughing. I’ll remember the moment we met in that preppy bar in Boston. I’ll remember our first kiss after a New Year’s Eve countdown, and our second kiss in the cabin, and all the ones that followed.”

“I’ll fill my mind to the brim with all the moments we have spent and will spend together, big or small. And when I become old and dusty one day and feel like they’re starting to slip away, then I’ll write them all down. I won’t let any moment go.”

“I know forgetting scares you, and I get it. I get it so much. But don’t worry about our memories, cariño. They’re safe with me.”