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He doesn’t smile. It’s fine. I don’t deserve his smiles any longer, but I still mourn the loss.
Every single one of them wants me dead, and here they are, attending my wedding.
“Cold feet, Husband,” she murmurs. “No colder than your heart,” I snap.
We’ll have to wear the bindings until the reception, which seems like a good time to attempt an assassination, when both parties are awkwardly tied to each other and at least one’s dominant hand is out of commission. Another useless Olympus tradition.
Right now, the only thing that matters is getting through the rest of the reception and then managing to resist the impulse to make myself a widow on my wedding night.
Even now, he’s leaning over Icarus to speak to her and there’s an actual smile on his face. It’s strange and soft, and it makes me want to grab the nearest piece of silverware and gouge his eyes out.
If this were a story, I’d be the cunning queen, or even the evil witch. I am not helpless and I am not innocent.
“I think you’ve had enough. If you drink too much, you can’t participate.” I laugh. I can’t help it. “Honey, I’m buzzed, but I’m nowhere near drunk enough to agree to a sex party with a bunch of people who’d like to run me over with a car.”
“You aren’t like the rest of them.” “Sweet words will get you everywhere.”
couples and throuples and moreples
And lions and tigers and bears
“What the fuck did you do to her?” “Hmm?” I drizzle caramel on the inside of my cup. “I’m not sure what you’re accusing me of, but I do believe I’m insulted.”
“If you touch her, I’ll kill you.” “What makes you think I haven’t already touched her?” I
He’s the enemy, but this is Olympus. Sleeping with your enemies is practically a professional sport.
“You play the doting husband.” “Pass.” Hephaestus’s face twists. “Everyone knows I didn’t choose the marriage. No one will believe I’m following my unfaithful wife around with hearts in my eyes.”
“Do they have kink clubs in Aeaea?” “They have kink clubs everywhere, Aphrodite. They’re not mythical places.”
“I didn’t touch her. Gods, who do you think I am?” “I think you’re one of the Thirteen and you’ll do anything to serve Olympus.” She’s not wrong, but it still makes my face burn. “I draw the line at sexual assault, thank you very much.” “But not murder.”
Gods alone know what you have stocked in your fridge. It’s probably beer and ketchup.” “I’m a man of taste. There’s mustard, too.”
“Poseidon has decided that he’s not concerned with mundane subjects like Olympus’s survival. He isn’t taking my calls.”
“Eris.” I love you. I don’t say it. Everyone in this room knows it for truth, but the tiny sliver of pride I have left won’t let me speak the words. Not again. “For once in your life, don’t argue with me.”
But what am I going to do, accuse Theseus of having feelings for his wife? I want to accuse him of exactly that.
“This city is going to kill you,” I grind out. “Maybe.” She tucks her hair behind her ears and slides off the counter. “But at this point, we can only deal with the circumstances we have instead of the ones we want.”
To distract myself, I look at the men. Hephaestus glares at the table like it said something insulting about his mother.
“Right. Of course. Well, congratulations to both of you. I’m sure you’ll be very happy together.” Adonis finally looks at me. For the first time since he arrived, he’s absolutely furious and not trying to hide it. “No, you don’t get to do that. You married another man.” “And you fucked him. Guess we’re even.”
We’re the only two sailors in a storm of Theseus’s making.
Better to work within the boundaries of what’s real instead of what you wish was real.
“This is a very strange situation.” “Welcome to polyamory.”
You’re much more agreeable when you’re coming. I only thought about strangling you once last night. Twice at most.”
“I don’t want you dead,” I finally say. Aphrodite’s eyebrows shoot up. “From you, that’s practically a declaration of love.”
“I have some things to say, but I’ll wait until this puffed-up parakeet leaves.”
“You’re my wife, Eris. I haven’t wanted to strangle you in nearly a week. That’s love, don’t you think?”
