The Garden (Into Shadow, #1)

by Tomi Adeyemi

she didn’t care—she barely understood why she was here. She’d had a plan. She’d had her dreams. Now she felt trapped in the real thing . . .

“And you don’t feel something alive in books? Haven’t you ever felt the kiss of fabled winds brush across your face?” Lęina whispered. “Haven’t you ever found yourself floating in an infinite space? Haven’t you shed tears for characters you’ve never known? Felt emotions that can’t possibly be your own?”

Angelo stared at Lęina as though transfixed. “You don’t know that feeling?” Lęina pushed. “Deep, deep in your heart?” “I think I do . . . ,” Angelo finally answered. “Then you think books can be alive.”

She felt her inner world had formed its own inner world and now she was too far down her own soul to hear.

Lęina felt she was made of sorrow. More than one human should bear. There were long months when she couldn’t cry. Then certain years where she drowned in tears.

“I think I’m addicted to sadness.”

She could smell sadness like a fragrance sprayed in the air. Something young girls dotted behind their ears. She smelled the way men carried sadness in their chests, always given to them by their fathers, or a girl who broke their heart.

“I smell it on people . . . ,” Lęina continued. “I smell sadness the way a dog smells fear. It’s something that calls me to others. The sadness I feel always draws me near.”

“I think you are drawn to the familiar.” Angelo smiled. “As people, we all are. We go to what feels the same. Even if that feeling is pain.” Lęina stared at the journal on her lap—was that what this tome was? Old pain bound in leather skin? Something familiar she was willing to follow till her end? “Does that mean we can never change?” Angelo shook his head. “I think we can always change.” Angelo shrugged. “You just have to be willing to walk away from the pain.”

Lęina heard pain was like rain— You could only avoid the storm when you let it fall.

“Do you believe in magic?” Lęina asked. “Real magic?” “Yeah—like the sun and the moon and the stars.” “And wolves that roam free at midnight?” “Fated love that heals old scars?”

“The artist told me she believed every tattoo she gave was one she was destined to give. I believe that’s magic.” Angelo took his seat. “I believe that’s real.”

did you know you were born with magic? deep inside your chest? did you know you carried power in your wombs the power to break tombs a power they wished did not exist? did you know you could awaken this power take hold of all you are owed? ask yourself, dear, be bold— are you ready to transform?

How could Lęina tell him Angelo made her feel safe. that he made her feel heard. but she feared he was listening because it was his job, not because he needed to hear every single word.

“My mother told me of a garden . . .” Lęina spoke slowly. “A soil where every flower could grow. The only cost of admission was your old soul.

She liked this version of herself. She liked the person she was when she was with him.

Lęina wished she could tell Angelo she loved him. But she knew that wasn’t true. He entertained her. That wasn’t love.

“I’ll wait right here.” “And if I don’t come back?” “I’ll understand.” Angelo touched his heart. “I’ll pray it’s because you found whatever you are looking for.”