For the Fans

by Nyla K.

Ah, the introvert’s paradox. Waiting for other nerds to come to you.

It’s a bill for next semester’s housing. Eight thousand seven hundred and eighty-two dollars. For five fucking months. This is America.

so real

“Tell me…” His voice trails off, and he gulps. I peer down at him, and his cheeks are all manners of flushed. “Tell you what?” He swallows visibly again, whispering, “Tell me you think I’m beautiful.”

Kyran: I wanna kiss you so bad babe. I’m gonna kiss you in front of EVERYONE :) Jesus, my fucking heart. I can’t even breathe… Me: I love you, Kyran. I am so fucking proud of you.

My chest shakes with a laugh as I wipe tears from my eyes. Kyran: Come to the party… please. I need you Avi. Me: I wouldn’t miss it for the world gorgeous.

But that’s not the funny part. The thing that’s had me casually stopping to smile over the last couple of hours, while we were celebrating in the locker room, changing out of our uniforms, then piling into our bus and sing-screaming “We Are The Champions”… while Guty literally picked me up and carried me into our hotel room and I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe… while I changed into my winner’s suit—the suit I picked out specifically for this party—and made my way downstairs to the hotel conference room that’s been elaborately decorated with maroon and gold, and fully stocked with food… is how all I want, in the whole wide world, is just to hold Avi Vega’s hand.

The win would be worthless if I hadn’t fallen in love with him.

It was an image they wanted for themselves, like a banner that screamed to the rest of the world, hey, look at me! I’m a great person! While simultaneously using it as an excuse to be judgmental and sometimes even downright nefarious.

Driving on new roads, to clear my head and find myself. So that the next time I knock on his door, there won’t be a shred of doubt. The real Kyran Harbor wouldn’t be alive without Avi Vega. He’s my reason, my rescue. Slow down, broken boy… and let him catch you.

A giant smile hijacks my lips as I turn to face Frankie. She breathes out slowly, then pinches my chin. “Not your baby, my ass,” she sneers, and I chuckle. “Go on, baby. Go get your boy.”

My angel was the last person I thought I could love… But I came back to him, over and over, because my heart wanted him when I didn’t understand why.

I’m in love with an angel… And his name is Avi.

I’m a lover, a friend, but most of all, I’m in love with the man who made all of that so painfully apparent to me. The hot grouchy blonde, with all his internal scars. He took my hand at the edge, and squeezed it. And we fell together.

“For the fans?” He grins, kissing me softly. “For the fans.”

“Out of Friend Land…” “And into Boyfriend Park.” He laughs, and I kiss it while it’s happening. Kyran and Avi, falling in love… for the fans.

Because that’s who he is. He’s my support system, my lifeline. My stepbrother I hated, turned porn co-star, turned friend, turned absolutely ridiculous, sexy, perfect love of my life. He’s my savior, my first and my only. From eagle wings to angel wings… he’s my Avi. Dancing on the field of my heart.

Kyran smiles at me, biting his lip. “For the fans?” My forehead drops to his and I whisper, “For the fans.” For us.