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“Choke me, Daddy,” I taunt,
When we’re alone together at night, fooling around for the fans, it feels like we’re something else. Two different people. I like the way it feels to be those people. But then I don’t feel like I’m supposed to, and it fucks me all up.
“I made you a boutonniere out of a napkin,” Kyran says, almost timidly.
“This one’s mine.” I’m just gawking at him, totally stunned, as he whispers, “You have to pin it on me, baby.”
“Thank you for coming to prom with me, Avi.”
He laughs, and I’m standing at the edge of something terrifyingly beautiful.
“Tell me the truth…” I rasp, and his head tilts. “Did you come in your pants that night at Frankie’s because of me?”
“I thought you were gonna kiss me…”
My foot slips off. And I plummet.
“And when we looked up, all you could see were stars. Millions of them, covering the entire sky.” She holds me in close. “Aviel, God is not some old, bearded man sitting up in the sky, punishing us when we’re bad. God is love, and laughter and light. God is the good things, and the bad. He… They, I should say, are the Earth and the stars and the vast openness of an existence we’re only a small fraction of.”
“God is faith, Avi. Faith in yourself, as a part of the world as it turns. And for all the hate, and sickness and despair we experience, there are equal parts love and joy. You just have to look up.”
He was the shovel, slowly scooping away the debris to uncover the real Kyran from where he’d been buried alive.
