For the Fans

by Nyla K.

“Maybe I didn’t know it at first…” I keep going. “But the truth is that it could have been anyone in those videos with me. But I wanted you. I think I have for a long time… I didn’t understand it, but you hating me just made me want to chase you. And then you started coming to me. And you’re just the best, most unexpected thing that’s ever showed up at my door.”

“Baby, I think I’m in love with you,”

The music plays while we dance, and kiss, and breathe together… Falling into love, with wind rushing and windows all around us.

It’s fucking insane… I’m a grown man. I don’t need anyone to fawn over me. Yet when Avi does it, it makes me feel so special. Like I’m being cherished by someone who loves me as a man, not just a football player, a student, or an… object.

“I won’t fucking leave him unless he wants me to…” I shiver out the words. “Because I’ll do anything for him, even if it kills me,” I tell her with my fullest sincerity. After all, it’s true. Kyran Harbor is the love of my life. That’s it. I’ve fallen. Hook, line, and sinker, he has my whole heart.

theBSTpwrbttm: I want you both to rail me and then pretend you love me like you love each other. *Swoon*

It’s hilarious to think that after this fantastic achievement, amidst the high of the win, the thing that has my stomach fluttering and my fingers twitching isn’t that trophy across the room… It’s the anticipation of seeing Avi’s smile. Hearing his voice croon about how proud he is, listening to his smartass comments, and watching his flirtatious smirky expressions. Sharing this experience with someone who loves me, and who I love in return… And feeling like it’s right, despite what I’ve spent so many years trying to talk myself out of. The win would be worthless if I hadn’t fallen in love with him.

The win would be worthless if I hadn’t fallen in love with him. It’s a mystifying truth, but it is the truth. Because after every other game I’ve ever won, the excitement has only been skin-deep. For the first time ever, it actually means something.

Figures that it would take someone like him to breathe me back to life. He’s so… different. Unique, like a mosaic. Complex little pieces glued together to make a purely stunning creation.

More than anything, I’m just weightless. As if thousands of pounds have been lifted from my shoulders. I’m okay with the reality that not everyone will accept me for who I am, and I understand that I’ll have to answer questions about the nature of my relationship with Avi, since he’s my stepbrother. But none of that matters when his hands are on me in public.

“Hey… I love you. Kyran, I am so fucking proud of you for what did down there. I love you so damn much for doing that. I just want to make sure it’s not moving too fast for you. I mean, Kyran from a few weeks ago never would have kissed me in front of his teammates and his Coach…”

“I love you, Kyran. I love you so fucking much, and that is never ever going to change. No matter what happens, no matter what I learn about you… Baby, you’re it for me. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved this way. Do you know how special that makes you??”

Avi looks like an Avi I don’t know. Sad, angry, uncomfortable… So many things that aren’t the Avi I fell in love with, and it’s destroying me. I did this to him. I ruined him with my truth.

“Remember what I said, okay? You can tell me whatever you want, or you can not tell me shit. We can lie here in this bed together, or you can take my body and use it in any way you want to. We can order sushi, or we can watch The Departed… I’m telling you, I love you, Kyran Harbor. Anything in the world that you want, I will give to you. But not just right now… Always.”

“Push it in slow,” I whisper, and he bites his lip, soaking his fingers and rubbing it all over his dick. My eyes are stuck on this long, swollen piece of him as I rumble, “I want to feel the curve of that plush pink head on every inch of my insides… All those veins. Let my ass swallow them whole.”

Parting my legs wide, I lift my hips a bit, offering him my body, because I want him to have it. I need to make sure he knows… I’m his. Because I want to be.

“Nothing has ever made me has hard as knowing I get to fuck you, Kyran Harbor.”

“Let me in this sweet, tight hole, baby,” he breathes, and I whimper. My hands are all over his shoulders and in his hair, and he grabs one, lacing our fingers. “You love me, don’t you?”

Since the last time we were together, all I’ve thought about was doing this again. In fact, every second of every day since the first time he fucked me, all I’ve wanted was to feel him in me like this… Pumping me full in that painful stab of ecstasy that brushes on my sensitive spot and sends waves of booming thunder through my loins.

“I’ll make you come so many times you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

“Baby, I love how you fuck me. Fuck me forever…”

“You drive me crazy, gorgeous thing,” he grunts, pace steadily increasing with each drive until he’s rocking into me so hard the mattress is moving. “I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you always…”

just want so much more right now, and I can’t even understand it. I want his entire body inside me.

He’s not different. He still loves me, and he’s not going soft on me. He’s giving me what I want, just like he said he would.

He is the only one. He’s the first, and the only.

“Kyran… Today was incredible, baby. Being with you is like a dream come true, and I mean that.”

The high from our sex is covering us like a shimmer of diamond dust, and I just want it to stay like this. I don’t want to ever lose this with him… He peeks at me. “Do you believe me?”

“All you’ve ever done is open the door for me over and over… This broken, crumbled mess. And every time, you pull me in and sit there trying to glue me back together. And you didn’t even know why I was smashed to bits in the first place.” I shake my head, resting my cheek over his heart. “You’re like…”

I know that he’s serious. That he loves me no matter what, and maybe he always will. Maybe we could go the distance. Have a future… We’re still young, but it’s not impossible. And nothing would make me happier than to try with him.

It wasn’t a secret anymore. I finally had a boyfriend… Kyran Harbor was mine.

But that was before he learned that I knew the truth about his past… And no matter how much I tried to convince him that it changed nothing, I could feel him pulling away. Resisting, because he thinks he’s broken. He’s fucking not. And even if he is, so what?? I’d still do everything in my power to fix him, to make him mine. Because I just want him, broken or not. I want all his uneven pieces.

“God is faith, Avi. Faith in yourself, as a part of the world as it turns. And for all the hate, and sickness and despair we experience, there are equal parts love and joy. You just have to look up.”

No matter what Kyran feels he needs to do to get himself past the torment he holds, I won’t give up on us. I’ll never stop chasing him while he runs. And hopefully he knows that when he shows back up, I’ll always open the door.

And so, like a form of fight-or-flight response, I ran away from the truth and recoiled into the image of a new Kyran Harbor. The straight boy who focused on only school, and girls, and sports, becoming popular as a means of control. A mask to wear, one so believable, even I began to feel like it was the real me.

The real Kyran Harbor wouldn’t be alive without Avi Vega. He’s my reason, my rescue. Slow down, broken boy… and let him catch you.

I’m still afraid it’ll terrify him. I know it’s dumb to think that, because of how supportive he’s been. But I just can’t help feeling like the idea of your boyfriend being sexually abused as a child and the reality of the gritty details are two very different things.

I miss all of it. I just miss him, and everything we started to be before he took off. If I could just get him back, I’d spend every single day putting him together, and not caring one bit about it. I would make it my life’s mission to fix whatever he thinks is broken, if he wanted me to… It would be my honor to be his handyman. No amount of work will ever be work with Kyran Harbor.

Nothing in my life has ever made me happier than to open the door for you every single time you showed up, lost and confused and needing me to show you how good it can feel to let go. I love fixing you, baby, and if you need me to, I will. It would be my greatest pleasure.”

I laugh into his mouth, grinding my cock on his, tips all sticky, balls brushing in slow strokes. He touches my chest, gripping my pecs and teasing my nipples. It feels so sensual, erotic, the way we’re coming together with nothing in the way. It’s Kyran and Avi uncensored. Real sex, real love.

Give me all your dirty words… Tell me how you wanna come, my beautiful, big-dicked slut.”

I’m happy to be his mascot all the time, whenever he needs me. Avi the Angel takes care of his baby.

“Oh yea. If it wasn’t for the fans, we might never have hooked up. Or fallen in love…” “Are you saying that everything we’re doing is still… for the fans?” he whispers in my ear, and I grin. “It’s for us,” I tell him, my heart so full of wild, cheering love for this man… “But they got us here.”

Kyran and Avi, falling in love… for the fans.

Because that’s who he is. He’s my support system, my lifeline. My stepbrother I hated, turned porn co-star, turned friend, turned absolutely ridiculous, sexy, perfect love of my life. He’s my savior, my first and my only. From eagle wings to angel wings… he’s my Avi. Dancing on the field of my heart.