Hail Mary (Red Zone Rivals, #4)

by Kandi Steiner

I fell to my knees. I fell hard, with a crack of bone to wood that made Mary’s eyes well with tears. She looked up to try to keep them from falling, but they seared down her cheeks, anyway. “Don’t go.” They were the only words I could say, the only ones that made sense in my scrambled brain. I could say I was sorry a million times, I could promise her the whole world — but the one thing I needed her to hear above anything else was that I wanted her to stay. I needed her to stay.

“Let’s just… go back to pretending we left each other back in high school, okay?” “I don’t want to pretend,” I said, climbing to my feet.

“I don’t want to pretend I left you in high school because I didn’t. I don’t want to pretend like I didn’t want you the second you moved across the street, even before I knew who you were. And I refuse to pretend that I don’t want you now, more than ever, because I do know who you are.”

“Can I hold you?” I asked on a desperate whisper. “Please?” Her lip wobbled, but she nodded, and as soon as she carefully sat the cat back on the bed, I swept her into my arms before she could take another breath.

“I’m sorry,” I told her. “I shouldn’t have gone last night. I was an idiot. I should have stayed with you, should have been here with you.” I shook my head, still holding onto her. “I didn’t think. I fucked up. But I swear I will do everything to make it up to you. Please,” I begged. “Stay.”

When she looked up at me, I wanted to die. She was in so much pain. And it was because of me.

“I need some time, Leo,” she said, and her eyes didn’t cower from my own. “This dream that I’ve worked for for… years… is just… gone.” She stuttered, and I wanted to hurl myself off the roof. “I’m jobless. Homeless. Broke.” She shrugged. “I have no idea where to go from here.” “Let me go through it with you.”

“I’ll do whatever you need me to do,” I promised. “I’ll leave. I’ll give you space.” I closed the distance between us, tentatively reaching out. When she didn’t flinch, I slid my hands into her hair, framing her face, holding her gaze to mine. “But I will not give up on us.” She closed her eyes. “What if I need you to?” “Then I’ll leave you disappointed.” I paused. “Again. Because I can’t do that, Stig. I… can’t.”

“I love you, Mary,” I breathed. She stilled in my grasp, and I pulled back until I was looking down at her again. “I love you,” I repeated. “I may be a colossal fuck up. I may make mistakes. I may disappoint you and fall short in more ways than I measure up. But I love you, and that will never not be true.”

“Right now, I have to love myself,” she said softly.

We were quiet on the drive back, Braden driving my car because I knew I couldn’t. When we pulled into the driveway, I looked at the door with a pit in my stomach. “Did I lose her?” I asked. Braden sighed, looking at the house and then at me. “She’s gone, man.” And all the strength I’d been using to hold it together left me. I didn’t care that Braden was still there, that Kyle and Blake were now coming out of the house, too. It didn’t matter if I did care. I was powerless against the emotional dam that split wide open inside me. I somehow managed to push the car door open and stand up. Then, I broke.

My roommates rushed to me. They weren’t my friends in that moment. They weren’t my teammates. They were my brothers. My family. And they held me while I fell apart.

“It’ll be okay, man. She’ll come back,” Kyle said. The air pulsed, because every single one of us knew that was a...

“So, are you going to tell me more about this boy?” I let out a long breath, a moment of regret sinking in my stomach for having told her and Dad about Leo at all. But what happened between him and Nero was part of the reason I wanted to leave the whole situation alone, so it had to be said. “I’d rather not,” I confessed. “Because I’m such an evil, emotionless monster that I wouldn’t understand?” Mom assumed with a harsh laugh. “Because I’m having trouble breathing without him in my life,” I shot back. “And I don’t really care to hold my bloody heart out for you to dissect.”

“He lost you once, remember?” Dad added. “Does it not make sense that, now that he had his chance with you again, he would be a little crazy at the thought of someone you trusted hurting you the way Nero did?” I pressed a hand to where my chest felt like it was splitting in half.

“Let me ask you this,” Mom said when I didn’t respond to them. “Do you still care about him?” I nodded. “And does it make you sick to think of losing him?” Dad asked. My eyes filled with tears on another nod. Mom chuckled, grabbing my arms in her hands and giving me a little shake. “Then forgive him, stubborn girl. And believe him when he says he’s learned his lesson. Trust me — you can do much worse than a man who loves you so much he can’t see straight.”

“I’m scared,” I admitted. “Well, obviously,” Dad said. “Why do you think you pushed him away in the first place? This was never about the fight with Nero.” “It’s about the fact that you’re in deep,” Mom chimed in. “And it scares you to death. So, to combat that fear, you pretend like you’re in control. You push him away just to prove that you can.” “It’s like you understand the feeling or something,” Dad mused.

Then, my phone rang. It made all of us jump because I had the ringer turned all the way up. And when we all looked down to find Leo’s name on the screen, Mom swatted my knee. “Speak of the devil,” she said.

“No, I wanted you to know that I want you to be there.”

“I’m sorry I went back on my promise to leave you alone,” he said, the corner of his mouth crooking up a bit. “But to be fair, I warned you I’d likely leave you disappointed.”

“We miss you, too, Mary,” Braden said. “I need my yoga buddy.” “And I need to know how you ever kept this place clean,” Blake added grimly. “Because we’re struggling here.” “Pancakes on Sunday morning aren’t the same without you,” Kyle added, and with each word they said, my eyes stung more. “Miss you guys, too,” I managed.

“You’re wearing my hoodie,” he said.

And I was finally ready to admit what I’d known all along. I was terrified of him hurting me again, of losing him, of giving him my trust only to end up with a broken heart. But I didn’t have a choice in the matter. It was a risk I would take, one I couldn’t escape, because the alternative was to give him up now. And I couldn’t do that. I loved him. I loved him.

“You okay, man?” I nodded, but couldn’t verbally assure him or myself. I was here. I was locked into the game. But I also wasn’t here, not really. My head was wherever she was. “It’s not over,” he said, a bit lower this time. “Maybe she just needs more time.” I tried with everything in me not to break down and cry when he said it. With another nod, I faced him. “Let’s just win this game.”

As I huddled with Blake and the rest of the offense, listening to him call our first play, I felt an all-encompassing Zen wash over me. It was like all the noise cleared out, the cheers falling mute, my breaths steadying, and even Blake sounded like he was whispering instead of shouting over the noise of the fans. We have this, I said to myself, and I felt it deep down in my fucking soul. Without thinking, I looked up over Blake’s head to the empty seat in the stands. But it wasn’t empty anymore. Mary was there now, her long blonde hair shining in the last bit of sunlight and giving her away. When she realized I was looking at her, she climbed up to stand in her seat, taller than the sea of fans around her. She was wearing my jersey. Even from the distance, I could make out her smile, and it made my heart skip a beat before it kicked back to life and raced like a motherfucking horse. Slowly, her hands lifted over her head, holding a large white sign with black marker lettering. Dibs on #13.

“Let’s win this,” he said to us, and then he nodded his head at me. “Some of us have a girl to impress.” A few of the guys thumped me on the helmet, making smart-ass remarks that I took with the goofiest grin I’d ever worn stretching my face. They could hound on me all they wanted to. Nothing could get to me, not now that she was here. We clapped our hands and sprinted to our spots on the line with seven seconds left on the play clock. Just before the ball was snapped, I looked back up to Mary in the stands. She had my number on her chest. And my heart in her hands.

“Wait, what the fuck?” someone said. “Why is our running back jetting down the field without the ball?” “Fuck, O-line is crumbling. He’s going to get sacked!” “Wait!” “Oh shit, it’s a Hail Mary!”

“I’m so sorry,” Leo yelled over the noise, his chest heaving. He still held me so close, like he was afraid I’d disappear. “I’m so fucking sorry.” “I’m sorry, too,” I yelled in return. “I’d just been assaulted, and I lost my job, and I…” My chest ached at how stupid I’d been. “I just took out all that fear on you, on top of already being scared of us. I took it out on you because I wanted to have control over something. I took it out on you because—” “You never have to apologize to me,” he said, shaking his head and silencing me with a kiss.

“You can take anything out on me because you know what? I can handle it. I can take it. I can go to war for you, or with you, if it’s what you need.”

“I’m a mess,” I said. “And I hate to scare you off now that I have you again, but I’m afraid I’m like my mother.” Leo frowned, confused. “I’m stubborn,” I clarified. “And so...

“No matter what life throws at us, what you throw at me — we will make it. Just stay,” he said, kissing me again. “That’s all I need. Stay, and I promise, no matter what happens, I’ll make it right.”

“You may regret those words one day,” I warned him, knowing the chaotic disaster I tended to be. But Leo shook his head, his lips finding mine as he lifted me again. “Never,” he promised. And I believed him — with every messy inch of my heart.

“I think you might actually rub my skin raw if you keep kissing me like that,” Mary said, her sleepy smile the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen as I trailed soft, lazy kisses over her shoulder. “I’m counting,” I said, planting another. “And until I get to a thousand, you’re stuck here.”

“God, I was miserable without you,” I confessed into her neck.

“I thought I’d lost you again. I thought…” I shook my head, and then I was pulling her in closer, like even a centimeter of space between us was too much. “Have I apologized enough yet? Because I really want to say I’m sorry another million times. Oh! I could start saying it in Spanish. Lo siento. Lo siento mucho.”

“Have I apologized enough yet? Because I really want to say I’m sorry another million times. Oh! I could start saying it in Spanish. Lo siento. Lo siento mucho.”

“Save your apologies for the next time I’m a stubborn witch.” “Witch,” I mused with a laugh, leaning up on my elbows so I could look down at her. “That’s pretty accur...

“I wonder what I can use my powers to make you do…” “I think at this point we know the an...

“So… what now?” “What do you want?” “To be together,” she said, lifting her eyes to mine. “Really be together.” “As if there was another option.”

“I just mean… I know there’s a possibility of you getting drafted. And, if you do…” I arched a brow, waiting. “Say it. What do you want, Mary?”

“I just like to hear my girl confess how badly she wants me,”

“Fine,” she conceded, making me stop with a hand pressing against my chest. “I want to go with you.” “Say it again.” “I want to go with you,” she said louder,

“I want to go with you.” “Say it again.” “I want to go with you,”

In fact, when I get signed, you can bet your sweet ass that fat signing bonus I get will go to opening up your own shop.”

“I’d never use your money for it, though.” “Like you have a choice,” I said. “Besides, it’s our money.” “We’re not married, Leo.” My tongue hurt from how hard I had to hold it back from saying yet.

“What happens if you don’t get drafted,” she managed through a raspy breath. “And I never tattoo again?” I shrugged. “We sell everything we own and move to a new country and figure out who we want to be next.” I flipped her until she was on her back, until I was between her legs. “Wherever we go, whatever we do, you belong to me,” I said, kissing along her jaw. “And I belong to you.”

“I love you,” she said. My chest squeezed, heart throbbing inside it. “Fuck, I love to hear that.” “I love you,” she repeated, wrapping her legs around me and pulling me flush against her. “Te amo, cariño,” I echoed, claiming her mouth with a hard, demanding kiss.

She was so fucking gorgeous it hurt.

“Open that pretty mouth.”

It was a sweet, sadistic game of cat and mouse, both of us teasing the other to see who would break first.