Kindle Notes & Highlights
“She’s the most precious gift I’ve ever received in my life.”
Aiden kept track of anything I loved, and the moment it broke or went missing, it would be replaced by courtesy of him.
white bunny ears sat on his head. “What is wrong with you?” I asked, reaching up to tug at the bow tie. “You know who I am, right?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Roger Rabbit.” Aiden smiled so widely that dimples appeared in his cheeks. “Jessica’s husband.”
“I told you I’d give you the universe if it makes you happy.” He clipped it around my left wrist, and I couldn’t take my eyes off it. “Happy birthday, baby girl.”
“One more chance, Tiff,” he muttered, pulling back as his lips continued to brush mine with every word. “Give me one more chance with my soulmate.”
Nonetheless, we’d barely survived that first breakup. We stopped talking properly for years and forged different lives. If it failed - if we failed - I wasn’t sure we’d be able to come back from it. I wasn’t prepared to piece myself back together again when he inevitably shattered my heart for a second time.
“You think it was a mistake?” he asked, sobering up. “I will always appreciate our time together, but we aren’t kids anymore. We need to grow up.” “What if I grew up and know it’s still you?” “You didn’t know it was me when I was nineteen.” “I was nineteen,” he repeated. “It’s been eleven years, Tiffy.”
No. I fell in love with him because he could make me laugh harder than anyone else. He spent time with my parents just as much as he spent with me. And there was his golden heart which longed to help people if he could. I fell in love with Aiden before the looks and the muscles, because he was the only person I could be honest with. I wish I’d been enough.
If Tiffy needed something, I would drop everything to be there. This woman was my priority, yet I’d been terrible at showing her that fact.
How was I meant to foresee the irreparable damage that would result from that conversation?
“I haven’t done anything. Before I told the rest of the family, I wanted to let you know that I’ve taken up Dr. Rivera on her offer to head out to the States and work on her research project.”
And apparently, Tiffy thought that ever giving me a chance, to begin with, was her biggest mistake.
It was Tiffy’s dream. When we were six years old, we were ‘married’ out by the pool in Sicily in front of an audience of teddy bears and Barbie dolls. I teased her about it when we first started dating, and Tiffy divulged it was her dream to go back and do it properly one day. The sea and sand and a small guest list. My girl didn’t want a wild party to celebrate love.
Over the years, I’d lost patients and colleagues and whenever it happened, I found myself in Tiffy’s office, craving her company more than anyone else’s. It was as if the loss of life made me desire the one person I couldn’t ever bear to lose.
think some people are made for each other,” she started tentatively. “I think it’s rare, but it exists.”
However, being held by Aiden brought comfort and calm into my life. It was the safest place I could think of, where I always felt I belonged.
I couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret for how much time I wasted on playing bachelor when I could have focused on the one woman who was my better half.
Sophia, who let me cry and howl and completely unravel in her living room. Who told me talking to a professional wasn’t a sign of weakness.
Hearing her on the phone, sounding distraught, needing someone - needing me - was wrong. Something had thrown her off-kilter. The last time that happened
“You made me happy because you believed in me and that I didn’t mess up. My anxiety was so bad and I didn’t want to be alone, yet you were there every second I needed you. I was happy because of you.”
“It’s like I don’t know how to hold everything together anymore, Aid. Every time I think it’ll be okay, something happens and Mum goes back to the hospital. I’m so scared I’m going to lose her, and I took it out on you.”
“I realised pretty quickly that I didn’t want what all my friends had, but it was too late. Tiffy blocked me from everything, and every holiday after that she spent away from London. Nothing has ever hurt me as badly as when she cut me out of her life, Sophia. My life became so empty without her. I thought all my stars aligned when we started working together.”
I’d let them down, and Tiffy had already proved she could cut me out without a care. I didn’t want to lose Sophia and Henry as well.
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but I’ve messed up so much that I don’t want to push her further away from me. I love her. I think she’s my soulmate. But I guess sometimes loving someone means being able to let them go.”
already knew the answer. Aiden was light-hearted. He protected himself and never let on to just how deep his feelings ran. We were the same, apart from the fact that I protected myself by becoming sharp and closed off.
“Honestly, Tiffy? I don’t know. It’s a guessing game with you because you stopped talking to me, stopped trusting me,”
“You have every right not to. I hurt you. I hurt you worse than I thought I ever could because I was an idiot. But if you want me to understand you, then you need to stop putting up this massive fucking wall and talk to me again the way you used to.”
“Everything felt right with you, Aiden. You were it for me. I wasn’t interested in any other man because you took up every thought in my head. And then you came home and told me you were done with me. Do you know how fucking shitty that was? You promised me the universe and then decided you were too horny for commitment.”
“I think Aiden feels a lot more than he shows the world. I worry about his heart. He’s not built like Seth, and even Seth broke. Aiden’s softer and I want to know that someone will look after that golden heart he has.”
“Yes,” Aiden answered without hesitation. “I’ve always been jealous of anyone trying to get your attention.”
told her, instantly hating myself for it. If all I could get from Tiffy were scraps, then I was desperate enough to take them.
“You threatened to take the gift back.” “You thought it was fake!”
“And you told me, ‘Aiden Sinclair, I don’t do fakes. If you want something badly enough, you’ll wait for the real thing rather than a cheap imitation.’”
you because I didn’t want an imitation, Tiffy. I wanted you, not some copy.”
“If we do this, you need to promise me, Aid, that you won’t break my heart again. No other women. No more rumours. And when you move to New York, we figure out a way to keep all this going. You do not get to dump me just because there’s an ocean between us, because I will drown you in it.”
“No. I missed out on over a decade of these moments. Twelve years of missed dates and empty nights. I’ve driven myself insane not being able to have this time with you. Don’t rob me of the chance to do everything I should have. To let you know you’re the most precious thing in my life.”
“He’s driven me mad for years,” Noah told her in a whisper. “He’s your problem now.” She looped an arm through his. “I think we need to negotiate this deal.”
There were many reasons I was grateful for Kiran—primarily, because she brought Seth away from the edge and gifted him everything he ever asked for in life—but right now, it was because she accepted everyone as a friend.
He knew about my restlessness and the emptiness that filled me, even if he didn’t know why.
“Not everyone is built for love and relationships.” “You can’t believe that.”
I said it often now. When we woke up in the morning, before I went to work, when we were curled in bed. It was like I was trying to make up for the lost time. To apologise for being so stubborn and remind him I loved him even when I was silent. Aiden returned every declaration with a grin so vast that I worried my heart would spill out of my chest.
He was my safest space, and I knew I wouldn’t be judged for how I dealt with things.
Without question, I’d made Tiffy my priority, and I didn’t regret that. But I’d forgotten to check in with myself. That Sophia was also a woman I cared deeply for in the same way I did with my mother.
He never outwardly appeared to care about anyone or anything that didn’t fit into his pastry kingdom.
I slumped further in my seat. “She won’t even talk to me.”
“But everything you’ve done to help Sophia over the last few months - it truly is an honour to be your mother.”
Harriet Thompson, author of the Dirty Dukes series, who recently had streaming services in an intense bidding war.
Although the smile he wore now
didn’t quite reach his eyes, this was the Aiden he put on for the rest of the world because they expected it from him. He was playing the perfect host, but it wasn’t the truth. I saw it in the way his shoulders slumped and how he scooped Maaz up from the floor, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.
Couldn’t they see the way he was holding himself? If I could get to him, then I could pull him away into a quiet room. Give him a few minutes to drop the mask and breathe again. That’s how it should have been. We should be doing this together as a team.
