He feared that he was a little more than just in love with Christine Derrick. He very much feared that she had become essential to his happiness. And that in itself was a strange, alarming thought. He had never looked for happiness. He had never considered it important. He had never even really believed in it. Or perhaps he had. During the past three years he had seen each of his siblings find it and live with it. He had seen the wild and sometimes cold, even heartless, Bedwyns grow into the still wild, but contented, almost domesticated Bedwyns. And, without fully realizing it, he had felt
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