He had turned his gaze directly towards me as I approached. I started to become hyper-aware of my gait and stride the nearer I got to him. By the time I was within earshot of him, I was walking like a chimp with a leg brace. As I got closer, he stretched out his legs in front of him. ‘Hi, Emily,’ he said. ‘Have you shit your pants or something?’ ‘Yeah,’ I replied, ‘I like to start the day off with a bang.’
