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But I liked her. I wanted to protect her. Maybe I liked her a little too much, but she was my boy’s little sister. I couldn’t act on it, no matter how badly I wanted her.
“Well, if it isn’t Jacks-off Gage.” She’s smirking at me, hoping to rile me up with that old nickname. I just grin back. “No-chest, it’s been a while,” using her old nickname, making fun of her flat chest at age thirteen.
But a little eye candy never hurt anyone.
Full disclosure? I still have feelings for Jackson. I don’t think you ever get over your first love, right?
Grief can really play with your mind. It doesn’t ever end; you just learn to live in a new day. It changes from season to season, and we are somehow supposed to learn to adapt to that new season.
“What will be will be. You can’t push things that aren’t ready to line up.”
“Maybe I want more!” I yell. She’s quiet, keeping her eyes on me, but I keep going. “I’ve always wanted more. I thought I wanted more football, more coaching opportunities, but it’s not that. There’s more here, Francesca! Right here!”
“I want you, Jackson. I always have. And however that has to look, for however long, I’ll take it.”
Everyone thinks I picked #5 because it’s my birth month, May. But Chess’ birthday is December fifth. When asked what number I wanted, I shouted out five before I even realized why.
It’s like a drug. I want more. I want to see it again. I want to be there while she’s branded again and again. It’s more than lust. It’s… love. Mine. She is mine.
“I have a ton of regrets. But what I have right now? At this moment? If all that shit got me to here with you, I’d do it all over again. Because having you right here with me? It’s everything, Chess. It’s everything.”
Everyone gets a little lost, but if you leave the light on, we can all find our way home.
