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Who was this girl, and why was she so damn … controlled? Her reaction resonated with me in a way I couldn’t ignore. It was a forced calm I knew all too well. Through the years, I’d been told by more than one person that I was dead inside. Too detached. Too unfeeling. I knew that wasn’t the case. I had my reasons for the way I was, which made me endlessly curious about Rowan.
Then his lips were on mine, his hands gripping me tightly to him. I met his kiss with an intensity that rivaled his own. We were two magnets unable to resist one another.
This was a pivotal moment in my life. I could sense it as clearly as I could feel the heat radiating off his body. One day, I’d look back at this single decision as either the beginning or the end. If only I knew which road led where.
Like the last time, she didn’t taste like strawberry lip gloss or mint gum. That would be too typical for her. Rowan Alexander tasted like summer rain and heartbreak. Mine or hers, I couldn’t be sure. Either way, I was addicted. It took every last shred of my control to finally pull away from her.
“You’d rather let your father live in some fairy tale while you’re miserable than make him face reality?” “Yes,”
I needed to maintain some illusion of control. That need for control was the same reason it had made sense to ration my hopes and desires. If I didn’t allow myself to want something other than what I could have, there would never be any disappointments.
I was furious because I knew I wouldn’t walk away from her. I couldn’t. Something intangible bound me to her. Something I couldn’t name. She had come to me, of all people, for help. Twice. Some unevolved, half savage part of me had decided she was now mine to protect.
“You, you fucking asshole!” she screamed back. “It has to do with you and the way I feel alive every time I’m around you. Like I can fucking breathe for the first time in my life.”
We were two trains on the same track with no way to avoid the collision.
Seeing the aftermath of my tantrum brought on a new wave of embarrassment only intensified by knowing he was there to witness the destruction I’d caused. Then again, if he was going to hang around me for long, he needed to get used to it because that was what I did. I brought devastation to the world around me.
At that moment, I would have carved out my own heart and handed it over if it would give her comfort.
I was more convinced than ever that we’d been sent down this path for a reason. Rowan was meant for me, and one way or another, I’d find a way to prove it to her.
“My bed is your bed. I wake alone, and I will not be happy. Understood?” Holy hell, why did I feel like saying yes, sir? It was there on the tip of my tongue, but I kept it at bay, nodding instead. He made a masculine rumble deep in his chest, then swatted my ass. “Good, now keep moving.” Suddenly, I wasn’t so tired.
“That’s my girl. My wife. You’re mine, Rowan Byrne. All. Fucking. Mine.”
Keir Byrne had captured what remained of my heart and held it captive in the palm of his hand. And the scariest part was, I wanted him to have it.
Sometimes the scariest monsters hide in plain sight. She was right. This world was drawn in shades of gray. All I could do was look at my priorities and decide how dark I was willing to go. For Keir, I might erase the scale entirely.
I’d find a way to breathe so much life back into her that sorrow had no place left to linger.
She’d become my wife out of impulse and necessity, but she’d won my heart with the purity of hers. For me, she existed in a place without rules or reason because without her, nothing else mattered.
“My love for you, little lamb, is endless. I love you so goddamn much it hurts.”
I needed her just as much as air in my lungs and blood in my veins. And should I need to, I would defend all three with equal savagery. My wife. My love. My life.
