My Roommate Is a Vampire

by Jenna Levine

Diary entry of Mr. Frederick J. Fitzwilliam, dated October 20

Vampire Diaries, hey-oooohhh!

a diet consisting of only one thing for literally forever sounded terrible. And boring as hell.

Agreed, and one of the few downsides to vampirism.

The vampires in Anne Rice novels, for example, didn’t act like the vampires in Buffy or True Blood.

I would so badly want to watch all of the vampire shows with him

Frederick J. Fitzwilliam’s Proposed Modern Day Lessons List Coffee shops and how to navigate them. General conversation tips (with specific focus on how to converse with others in such a way that it is not immediately apparent I was born in the eighteenth century). Public transportation: how, where, and when? The internet (since you insist I learn about it). “Tick Tock” A brief summary of all major historical events that have transpired over the past one hundred years.

ok, this is a nice way to set the scene for two people falling in love. a little bit like a montage in a teen movie, but I'm here for it.

I picked up the second envelope where it lay on the mattress. Beneath it was a long, slim, rectangular silver-and-gold foil-wrapped box that looked suspiciously like a gift. Did Frederick get me another moving-in present?

I don't hate that the man has already established a precedent of showering her with thoughtful gifts

His eyes never left my face. “Cassie likes this shirt. I will take one in every color.”

I like that

“Giles is the hottest man on this show.”

Amen.

“What . . . what did you think of the show itself?” I asked, trying to recover. If Frederick noticed I was on the verge of dissolving into giggles he showed no sign of it. “It’s a bit silly,” he said, thoughtfully. “Though I enjoyed what I saw.” “How accurate would you say it is?” I was probably crossing a line, but I couldn’t help myself. I’d been wondering this ever since learning he was a vampire. He hesitated, pondering the question. “The show’s writers got a few things wrong about my kind. For example, I have no penchant for leather jackets, and I don’t burn to ash when exposed to sunlight. Additionally, my face doesn’t change in a cartoonish way before I feed. But they also managed to get a number of details correct.” He paused, then added, “Which is surprising. As far as I know no one on the writing team was a vampire.”

This is damn near everything I wanted from a scene of a vampire watching Buffy, good job, author.

I watched as he traced over every single line on the page, from top to bottom, not skipping over any part of it, with deliberate care. The house. The lake. The barely intimated trees blooming as rough graphite swirls on either side of the page. The memories of his large hand covering mine as we explored Instagram together—the way my hands had looked pressed up against his chest in the Nordstrom dressing room—rose unbidden, sending a delicious shiver down my spine. I’d always felt my art was an extension of my innermost self, and the sight of his large, graceful hands touching every single part of this early drawing felt almost unbearably intimate. “What do you find fascinating about it?” I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the sight of his hands touching my work. I felt moments away from melting into a puddle at his feet.

That's surprisingly hot 🥵

his expression grew serious. “If anyone fucked up here, Cassie, it was the committee that refused to accept a visionary artist into the exhibition.” I blinked at him, stunned at the intensity of his praise. “You don’t have to say that.” “I never say things I don’t mean.”

Well, I love this man.

Frederick whispered hoarsely. He looked like he was about to throw up. Could vampires throw up, I wondered? Something to think about later.

lol

Mrs. Fitzwilliam sniffed the air and cringed. “A human girl, Frederick. Honestly.”

I mean, I don't disagree with her