My Roommate Is a Vampire

by Jenna Levine

If this person turned out to be an axe murderer or a libertarian or some other awful thing,

“I’ll be going now,” he said, importantly but unnecessarily. “I must meet a friend in need at Crate & Barrel.”

Granted, yes—being a vampire was a much bigger deal in the grand scheme of things than exaggerating my job history.

A brief summary of all major historical events that have transpired over the past one hundred years.

so, there was this guy george w. bush, and the month is september…