My Roommate Is a Vampire

by Jenna Levine

If this person turned out to be an axe murderer or a libertarian or some other awful thing, a month-to-month lease would let me leave quickly with no strings attached.

“Over the past two weeks I’ve discovered that in this city of millions, you are one of a kind.”

“I . . . was once known for my straightforward demeanor,” he said, his voice just above a whisper. “It was an admirable trait among men at the time. I gather that now, one must mince words often in order not to offend.” He paused again. “None of this is intuitive to me. I feel I shall forever be a bumbling idiot in public.”

“Unfortunately, all I can do is somewhat involuntarily conjure fruit when I’m nervous.”