Now, instead of Christmas trees and decorations striking me as tacky, I want to find the most beautiful ones possible, so I can surprise Mara when she walks through the door and finds the house bedecked in soft, silvery lights. I want to see them reflected on her skin and hair, echoing the smoky color of her eyes. It’s easy to reduce Mara to childlike wonder. To give her what she never had before. I pile the presents under the tree, dozens of them, all with her name on the tags. She doesn’t care what’s inside—the fact that she has gifts waiting for her reduces her to tears,

