Seductively Undead in Dark River (Dark River Days, #4)

by Grace McGinty

“Judge, you can’t smoke in the kitchen!” I hissed, quietly enough that no one in the dining room would hear. “It was that or murder Lucius, and I figured you were attached to him now.”

I focused on the predator looking at my bleeding lip with hungry eyes. “Lucius, what are you doing?” “Baking the perfect cake. I’m a thousand years old. I saw the invention of refined sugar. Of chocolate. I should be able to bake a cake.”

X was still cleaning his teeth with his switchblade, even though everyone was hissing and snarling. “Calm your fucking panties. He’ll be fine. Just twist that shit back and give him some blood.” He gave me a look. “When did everyone get so dramatic?”

My skin crawled. Sleep paralysis demons. New fear unlocked. “Okay, I vote that if this guy is one of those, we leave him be. I’m not fucking around with anything with the word paralysis in its title. I’ll suck it up and be the best Convocation Member ever,” I swore, placing my hand over my heart.

Buddy liked me now. In the beginning, he’d been so damn formal that I’d wanted to kick his ass. Eventually though, I’d worn him down. Now he just looked at me like an annoying sibling that he’d really like to shake vigorously.

I frowned. Well, that was new. “Which species?” I asked Nico. He gave me a sympathetic look. “Yours.” Oh. Yeah. I’d forgotten about that. “Karma really bit him in the ass for that one.” I leaned closer. “What's with the nickname?”

Because what emerged from him was definitely a beast. I didn’t realize I’d gasped out loud until Lucius turned toward me, looking like a kid in a candy store, as he pointed at the fucking two-headed hellhound in front of him. “Holy fucking hell,” Judge breathed. “Is that a Cerberus?”

I looked at Lucius. “Why didn’t I get wings?” He shrugged. “Want me to take his for you?” No inflection, like he hadn’t just threatened to dismember a person who was standing less than ten feet away.

Orthus was looking at us with wide eyes. “You think this is better?” He pointed at Lucius, which was probably dangerous in itself.

It was easy to woo a woman into your bed if you didn’t smell like a dirty ballsack and changed your clothes at least once a year.” Romance at its finest, ladies and gentlemen.

X bounced over to me, a grin on his face. “Guess what, Red?” That smile never meant anything good. “What?” I said hesitantly. With the amount of glee on his face, this conversation was about to go one of two ways. Either he’d killed someone he shouldn't, or I was about to have a lot more orgasms.

I sashayed out of the room. Granted, it probably looked like I was limping, but half of the battle was being confident, right? I just confidently looked like I was lame.

“You dropped Tex on his head a month ago when you were trying to do that standing sixty-nine,” Judge grumped from the other end of the table. “Snakelet was fine, and he shouldn’t suck so good if he didn’t want me to lose control of my muscles.”

“So has Lucius, and he still sucks,” X shouted after him. Lucius himself appeared. “I swear, I will cut out your appendix and fuck your stomach cavity if you keep besmirching my skills like that.” Um. Ew.

“Judge! Make her come while I decide which toy to use first.” He kissed me hard, full of frenetic energy, and then passed me off to Judge, who was chuckling silently. “He’s like a kid in a candy store. We should buy him a red room for Christmas,” I whispered against his ear.

I looked at the smiling, happy Lucius like he was possessed. Nico stared at him like he was a ghost. The rest of the guys stared at him like he was about to bust out a machete and go on a killing spree, even though he hadn’t ever been more placid. It had been fifteen minutes since he kissed me, and he’d been grinning the whole time.

“Is he high?” Brody asked, and I shrugged. I didn’t know. It was Nico who answered, after taking a long, shuddering breath. “No. I don’t think he’s ever been more grounded, at least not in my memory.” He swallowed hard. “He used to call me Scáth when we were little. It means shadow.”

Orthus growled low. “Does someone want to tell me what’s going on? Vali is still giggling like he’s been into the brownies in the cafe down the road, and the Mad King is smiling at me like we’re going to Mass for Christmas. It’s freaking me the fuck out.”

I screwed up my nose. “Don’t say fluids like that. It gives me the ick.”

“You’ll what?” I teased, flexing my fingers like my hand was a weapon. It was a small quirk of mine that I had to slap both cheeks. It was like both or none. What if the left cheek felt more loved than the right? What if Walker felt lopsided for the rest of the day?

“Sweet Betty White’s lady balls! Orthus, what the fuck is wrong with you? You scared the hell out of me.”

He gave a small, satisfied smirk. “They were writhing all right, but it wasn’t in pain. But I guess if you’d never given your wife an orgasm, her O face might look like pain.”

I looked over my shoulder at Vali. “What did you do to piss off the leader of the vampires?” “Fucked his consort. She said he had a lot of power but a tiny dick. I was doing a public service.”

I pinched his nipple in retaliation, but instead of shying away, he moaned loudly. And awkwardly. “Oh baby.” “Stop it,” I hissed, my cheeks going as red as my hair when several people turned to look. “God, I hate you sometimes.” He booped my nose. “No you don’t, liar. So, what are we doing?”

“How Raine puts up with your ass is a mystery,” she huffed. “Want me to drown him in the falls?”

Yuki let out a gasping breath. “You know, Raine, you collect the most interesting mates.”

“Don’t make me laugh or I’ll puke. Why did Bert have to make them so good? He knows I have no self-control.”

Lucius leaned back. “I was once locked in an iron coffin for a decade. I didn’t look at my rescuers like I wanted to pleasure them until they couldn't breathe.” Judge laughed. “That’s because it was Titus, and if you had looked at him like that, he probably would have stuffed you right back in again.”

gently. I should have known better. “You added them to your harem already?” Alexander said, throwing his arms up in the air. “Aurelius and Stuart are going to have kittens about this.” That made him grin.

Alexander answered. “I could always eat him and we could lead together, Jonah and the Whale style.” Orthus raised a brow. “Not a good idea. Hell creatures are spicy. Not worth the indigestion.”

We were having coffee after the meal when Titus finally snapped. “What is wrong with you?” he asked Lucius, his body tense. “There is something off, but I can’t…” Lucius smiled, and Titus flinched back like he’d been struck. “Nothing is wrong, brother,” Lucius said, leaning forward further, but Titus moved away, the heavy sound of his chair scraping on the floorboards unnerving.

Then he looked at Wilde. “If your kind ever tries it again, I will decimate your entire species.” Wilde had giant balls of steel, because he just shrugged. Shrugged! “No one has been that stupid since.” Luc nodded. “Keep it that way.”