Maestro

by Auden Dar

Uncle Jay convinced Mom to buy a few stocks in a computer company whose logo is an apple.

But no matter what, wherever we are in life, we’ll always be friends.

“I always wanted a muse.” He unlocks a soft smile. “I found her in you.”

“She’s crazy about you.” I’m crazy about you, Chad.

“Bye,” I say, watching their gorgeousness walk away like a party prize I didn’t win.

“They followed her to boarding school. Come on.” I’d love for you to follow me.

Later that night, I cried with happiness. My best friend is living his dream. I need to live my dream as well.

I don’t like you going out with someone else. I don’t want someone coming between us. If he doesn’t ask me out soon, I’m going to knock him on the head with my bow.

I hang up, dying from longing. Wanting more than friendship. Breaking apart, I want it so bad.

A bad day and he came down to find me. And waited for me. Worried about me.

I haven’t felt lonely since Chad and I became best friends. Even when I’m on a date without him, he’s still present. Chad is like my favorite melody, one I can’t stop thinking of.

Chad’s friends forever confession lingers and then an unfamiliar pain pricks at my heart. Forever Friend. That’s what I am to him, when I long to be so much more.

“Aurelia?” “Yes?” Kiss me. Kiss me, please.

Everything about his face signaling, “I’m going to kiss you.” Why didn’t he? Fucking forever friend.

“I want you to see me.” “I do see you.” “I mean really see me. As a girl who’s more than your best friend. A girl you want to kiss. Right now. Period. No yets, no buts.”

“I don’t know why you’ve never been kissed.” “Because I’ve been waiting for you.”

Raw. Possessive. My body temperature rises. I’m a volcano ready to erupt.

“You’re beautiful just the way you are. No need for makeup and curls. I love your natural hair.”

With his right arm around me, I place my head on his shoulder, wishing this night could last forever.

His perfect lips form a smile I’ll be dreaming about when I go to bed. I am so in love with you.

“I waited for you,” I murmur. “I always knew it would be with you.” “I waited for you too,” he murmurs back before gently kissing me.

“Aurelia, you’re more than my forever friend. You’re more than my girlfriend. You are and will always be her. The person I love the most. No matter where we are in our lives, you’ll always be her. Never forget that,” Chad says, his eyes filled with promise. “I love you.”

I love him so much and love made me a fool. I knew he had ambitions. I just never thought Chad would choose them instead of me.

It’s taken me years to realize we can’t ask someone to love us when they don’t want to.”

As we pass, he looks concerned because I’ve had this seat for over a year and like everything else in my life, I’ve lost it.

“A minute, please?” I was going to give you a lifetime.

“I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry I fell in love with you.”

“We meet the most important people in our lives when we don’t even know how much we need them.”

He smells like Irish Spring and a hint of cinnamon. He smells like home.

It’s not that I don’t want his attention, but I want it too much.

“Not to scare you off,” he says. “But if we stay inside, I’ll want more than the taste of San Miguel.”

Chad kisses me deep and hard. It’s a long, lingering kiss that says, I’m sorry. I miss you. Please let me in.

I’m right there with you. But I’d rather be scared and give you my all than pretend I don’t want you back.

This is his time. The rest can wait.” A lump the size of a potato forms in my throat. The rest can wait. And that “rest” is you.

As a boy, he was attractive. As a man, he is magnificent.

He sucks his bottom lip, his determined eyes on me like a lion stalking his prey. “I want you so much it hurts.”

I want this more than anything. I’m not ready for this. I have nothing to lose. I have everything to lose.

Like a man praying at an altar, he kneels in front of me. “Let me just see you. All of you,”

“I hated the thought of other men worshipping you the way I’m about to. But at least I knew none of them would make you feel the way I do. I’m going to fuck you until you know it, too. Until you feel all my hurt and pain.”

“No one will ever love you and worship you the way I do.” No one has ever loved me the way you do.

He grinds against me, his erection taunting me. “Mine.” I’m winded. I can barely say, “Yes, yours.” He guides his length inside, ready to erase the distance between us.

He’s no longer a teenage boy. He’s all man, and not only does he know my body, he’s claimed it. Relentless now, pounding into me, ensuring I’ll never leave him again.

When he looks at you years from now, who do you want him to see? His muse. His love.

Opening his bloodied fist, a solitary sapphire stone surrounded by diamonds rests on his palm. Sparkling.

Crying because I miss my best friend. Crying because I fear I may have made the biggest mistake of my life.

“You’re still her,” he says. “You’ll always be her. The one I love the most.”

Fucking whirlwind romance. I’ll show you whirlwind romance when I toss you and all the shit out the window.

You waited too long.

But that doesn’t change the fact that I fucking love you. Hate me all you want because I’ll never stop loving you.”

I’ve become an audience to my own tragic ending.