Maestro

by Auden Dar

All these accolades, yet I only remember him as the thirteen-year-old boy I met at the LaGuardia High School of Music and Art and Performing Arts.

The boy who not only captured my heart but also became a master at breaking it.

“I was thirteen when I met my one and only muse. All my compositions and all the music I perform are inspired by her. She’s in every note, melody, and phrase.”

I’m so glad we met today. We both have 0214 in our email names. I was born on Valentine’s Day. What’s your reason for including 0214?

Ugh, I want him to be mine. MINE. I want him to call me “Baby” and mean it. He’d hold my hand. He’d kiss me on my untouched lips. We’d share milkshakes, banana cream pie, and his favorite cinnamon treats.

CHAD: Cue your CD to Coldplay’s “Yellow.” Turn off your bedroom light. Lie down, close your eyes and open them when Chris sings, “Look.”

I want Chad to have all my firsts. I know he is the only boy I’d give my heart to. Right here, right now, my heart is his. For always.

“Aurelia, you’re more than my forever friend. You’re more than my girlfriend. You are and will always be her. The person I love the most.

No matter where we are in our lives, you’ll always be her. Never forget that,” Chad says, his eyes filled with promise. “I love you.”

Chad is not only talented, he’s absolutely beautiful. Will he be like my dad? Will he cheat on me the way Dad cheated on his wife with my mother?

“I never wanted to hurt you.” This is more than hurt. This is excruciating pain.

February 14, 2003 Dear Aurelia, It’s been fourteen months since I’ve heard your voice, and I wonder when I’ll hear it again.

How can I let you be when you’re all I think about? I was too blind to see how perfect we were… we are together. No one ever said ambition could take away the most important person in my life.

I want to tell you I love you and only you. I want you to know I’d give everything up to be with you again. Everything. Love, Chad

“I want to know what I’ve missed out all these years,” he says. “Will you let me?” “Let you what?” “Be in your life again.”

“Because I promised myself that when I found you again, I’d fight for you.” His tight voice cracks. “Fight for me,” I breathe.

My Pablo has a soul. After all these years, we’re still a team. On Broadway and at NYU’s Steinhardt.

“Because no one will ever love you the way I do. No one.”