Maestro

by Auden Dar

Two hearts aren’t musicians waiting for the conductor to direct. Two souls in love don’t cease to love with the wave of a baton.

You’ll always be mine.

We deserve the perfect ending to our symphony.

I want to play beautifully like him. I want the music.

Pablo is my best friend and my lifeline.

There’s comfort in hearing a melody that speaks to me.

And if I don’t make it in, my life will be over… because this is the only thing I’m good at.

Please Dad, don’t break your promise.

No one should be this good looking.

“You’re English?” Finally, my conversation shows up. “Like the Spice Girls?”

“Think more like Robbie Williams.

My God, why are you so darn cute?

“You’re not much for words, are you?”

“Little Women, Jane Eyre, and Emma. How about you?”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“And my biggest fan.”

“What do you mean? You don’t know me.” “You’re different.”

I think your smile is the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen.

Your smile is epic. You offer it without hesitation. It’s infectious.

I think you just became my first crush.

“Don’t forget me. Chad David. The cute English boy with two first names.”

Please don’t fail me now.

If you play something you love, you’ll rock it.

And he’s definitely my first crush.

A boy has never called me before.

I know the pain all too well.

And I wonder if falling in love with someone you can never have is better than not falling in love at all.

The wait is killing me.

“If I didn’t, are we still friends?”

I never wanted to kiss a boy until Chad.

I came to see you.

I want you to want to kiss me.

I’m not his girlfriend. I’m just his friend. But it was fun while it lasted…

and suddenly, I’m with a boy. Alone.

Ugh, I want him to be mine. MINE.

Are you flirting with me?

Do you look forward to my calls and emails like I do with yours?

“I always wanted a muse.” He unlocks a soft smile. “I found her in you.”

I’m Chad’s muse.

Or devil child. Or bastard.”

I stare at my best friend, and for the first time, I’m finally going to share a memory with someone.

“So, you’re the love child.”

“We don’t choose our parents,”

“We’re still kids,” I remind Chad. “I don’t feel like one,”

“I want to play, but sometimes I forget why I love playing.

“Let’s make a pact.”

Grandfather took me to Wagner’s birthplace. Did you know he was anti-Semitic?

Sometimes men need to be hit over the head.”

I’ll always remember this day because it’s the first time I understand what it means to love a boy.

It’s the first time I understand what brokenhearted means.