The Choice (Star-Crossed Lovers Duet, #1)

by Ashley Jade

When I open my eyes, Memphis is kneeling in front of me…looking like he wants to consume and murder me at the same time.

He’s not even touching me. And yet, it’s the most intimate and sexiest experience I’ve ever had. Because I’m here in this moment with him.

Whenever he finds a new spot that makes me extra responsive, he goes over it again when I least expect it. And again. And again. It’s as if he’s learning my body. Memorizing all the things I like so he can use them against me in the most tantalizing ways.

“I don’t even have to touch you to make you come, Sky.” I can’t deny it since, technically, he’s right. “Now put your finger back inside your pussy.” His voice is a low rasp. “And show me the mess I made.”

Memphis was right, he doesn’t like coloring inside the lines. He likes crossing them. Now he knows my scent. What I taste like. The sounds I make when I come. The look he gives me tells me he’s thinking the same exact thing. I sit up. “Kiss—” His lips are on mine before I can utter the last word.

Heaven help me, this boy is quicksand. And I’m sinking. Falling.

“Valerie just called,” Archie says from the other side of the door. “Josh is in the hospital. He was in a car accident.”

The brunette averts her gaze, staring down at her shoes. “Holly.” She seems decent at least. Maybe she can give me the rundown on what happened since the bigs and my boyfriend are currently too high to count to ten correctly. “Hey.” She keeps her gaze trained on the floor. Why won’t she look at me?

My boyfriend was supposed to take me to prom and make love to me tonight. But he didn’t. Because he was too busy getting high…and fucking her.

“I’m so sorry, Arabella. I should have believed you.” Her tears fall faster, and she makes a choking sound in her throat. “I really hope you can forgive me.”

“You didn’t believe your other friend who told you Josh was cheating,” I remind her. “I didn’t want…” To hurt you. To make you hate me. To watch you choose him over me again. “I didn’t think you’d believe me either. And then I’d have to put up with even more of your detective bullshit.”

“I…fuck. I’m sorry, Sky.” I’m sorry you’re hurting. I’m sorry I can’t fix it. I’m sorry I didn’t meet you before he did…because I’d never break your heart.

I glance down at the lyrics from my favorite Jimi Hendrix song inked on my rib cage. Lyrics about kissing the sky.

“In that case, I think Skylar’s right. You guys should take a break. You do your thing and let her do hers.” “Yeah, for now.” He opens the door and hops out. “But mark my words, she’ll come crawling back. Because in the end, she’ll always choose me.” Not this time.

“Just wondering.” “You’ve been doing that a lot lately.” “What?” Slanting my head, I inch a little closer. “Wondering about me.”

I could give her what I know she wants and kiss her, but I won’t. Her stalking Holly on social media proves she’s still not over Josh and she won’t be for a while. I refuse to be her second choice.

“Let’s try this again, shall we? Repeat after me. I, Memphis Payne.” I shouldn’t humor her, but I’ve got nothing better to do. “I, Memphis Payne.” “Offer my sincerest apologies to Miss Skylar Amethyst Meadows for being a misogynistic—” I stop her right there. “One—I’m not a misogynist. And two—your middle name is Amethyst?”

“Are you really making fun of my middle name, Chiron?” “Who said I was making fun of you?” I have to hand it to her, though, she’s got my number. She levels me with a look. “Memphis.” “Yes, purple flower child?” “You’re such an asshole,” she exclaims, but there’s a hint of a grin emerging. “Whatever you say, Amethyst.”

“Relax. I love your name. It’s really…” I try to keep a straight face but fail. Getting under her skin is not only easy but highly fucking amusing. “Far out and groovy, man.”

“Hold on tight.” Wide eyed, Skylar shakes her head. “Memphis, no. It’s too wet.” Dragging my tongue along my bottom lip, I wink. “That’s what she said.”

“Scared?” “Nah. I like strange and creepy things.” She looks me up and down, giving me a thorough once-over that goes straight to my dick. “Clearly.” Touché.

She’s quirky but not in an obnoxious way like most. Her quirks are nearly imperceptible until you get to know her. Then you find out she calls shoes feet prisoners and cries for bees that sting her… Because her big heart bleeds for others, even if they aren’t worthy of her empathy. She’s vulnerable but far from weak. The girl has survived things that would break even the strongest of people. She’s feisty but sensitive. She’s candid. Real…but safeguards her demons. I’m not scared of anything in this world. But Skylar Amethyst Meadows fucking terrifies me. Yet, as cautious as I am about her, I’m just as equally drawn to her.

The first time I saw her in that window, I remember thinking she was perfect. As if God specifically chose to make her his most flawless canvas. That still hasn’t changed. Only now I know it’s not just her outer appearance because who this girl is on the inside is every bit as beautiful.

“And really, Memphis. It’s the least you can do after all the damage you’ve inflicted on my poor little tootsies.” A vein in his neck flexes. “I haven’t done shit to your poor little tootsies. It’s not my fault you stepped on a nail and got stung by a bee.” That’s just semantics. “All of which happened in your presence. Fortunately, I’m giving you a chance to make amends.” “Christ.” He looks like he’s trying his hardest not to laugh. “You sound fucking insane. You know that, right?” I bring my pointer finger and thumb close together. “Little bit.” I’m about to resort to puppy faces again when a resigned noise leaves him and he sits up. “Take off your feet prisoners.”

“Holy hell, your hands…” I stop talking as visions of those hands touching other parts of my body impale me. “What about them?” he questions, running one of them up my calf. I want to feel them on every inch of my skin.

“I was scared when the nail went through my foot—not only because it hurt—but I was all alone with a boy I didn’t know. However, you told me I could trust you…so I did.” I swallow the lump forming in my throat. “But it was a one-sided exchange, Memphis. And I spent the next five years wishing things were different because we could have—”

“What did she say?” His chest rises on a deep inhale. “That I’d never get placed into a home, let alone adopted, because no one wanted to deal with a psychopath.” Pain flickers in his orbs. “I didn’t want to be placed in the box marked bad kids and stuck in a group home forever, so I had no choice but to wear the mask, as you call it.”

So, that’s what I did. I still kept to myself for the most part, but I communicated with adults when necessary. I didn’t complain about doing chores. I never mouthed off or caused fights. I just…” “Gave people what they wanted,” I whisper. “So you could survive.” I understand that more than he’ll ever know. It’s what I did with Shane.

“You’re not a freak, either.” My heart pounds harder the longer I stare at him. “I only said that because I didn’t want Josh to know.” Those dark eyes are penetrating. “Know what?” Here goes nothing. “That I do have a type.” I need to find air, but it’s impossible. “Because the only person who could ever be a threat to him…to us…is you.”

“Dare.” My breath stills when he inches closer. “I dare you to let me kiss you.” His lips trail along the shell of my ear, and his voice drops to a seductive rasp. “Wherever I want.” Tiny tingles travel between my thighs. “Okay.” He cups my cheek, and my eyes flutter closed, eagerly awaiting. However, a second before our lips touch, he breathes, “Whenever I want.” I barely have time to process what he’s saying before he’s gone. Memphis definitely has a kink, all right. Torturing me.

“What does your dream life look like?”

A groove in his forehead appears as he stares up at the stars that have emerged. And then his expression fills with an emotion I’ve never seen from him before. Happiness. I know whatever he’s about to divulge is significant. “Making a living doing what I love.” His mouth curves into an incandescent smile that grips my heart. “A nice house, wife, five kids—” “Five?” I interject. That’s almost half a basketball team. That smile deepens, lighting up his entire face. “At least.” Dark brows knitting, his demeanor turns serious. “Family has always been something I’ve wanted, so having kids is important to me.”

“What about you?” “I can’t have kids,” I blurt before I can stop myself. An uneasy weight abrades my chest…like I’ve been thrown overboard with a hundred-pound brick tied to my ankle. “I had an infection when I was younger, but it went untreated for too long and caused some damage.” I didn’t even know I was infertile until two years ago when I made an appointment with a local gynecologist for birth control.

he quickly rattled off something about having scarring on my fallopian tubes. The worst he’d ever seen. I wasn’t sure how to feel. I was only sixteen and even though I was there to prevent having a baby, it didn’t mean that I never wanted kids. Although I wasn’t positive that I did want them, either. In the end it didn’t matter. The choice was taken from me. It was yet another thing Shane stole.

“You know the worst thing I’ve ever been through, Memphis.” I’m not trying to make him feel bad or manipulate him. I just want him to realize that no matter what he tells me, I won’t run away and hide. I won’t let him drown. He just needs to be willing to dive into the deep end with me.

“Remember how I told you I’m good at figuring out what people want and giving it to them?” I’m too afraid to speak and ruin this, so I just nod. “Well, there’s a reason for that.” There’s a distinctive lilt in his deep voice. Pain. “I knew from an early age that she didn’t want me around.” His forehead creases and he stares down at the blanket. “So…that’s what I did. I didn’t bother her. Didn’t ask for anything.” Those broad shoulders drop with what seems like the weight of the world. “I disappeared…just like she wanted me to.”

“She’d use me to get those assholes to give her extra cash. Come on, baby. I’m a single mom. Or—can you give me another twenty, sexy? I really need it for my kid. Funny, huh? She had no problem remembering I fucking existed when it suited her.”

It just sucks that she was around for such a short time, and the only two memories I have of her are quick flashes that seem to fade more and more with time. The first one is me rubbing her back when she was throwing up because she was sick from chemo. And the other…is right before she died. When she made me promise her I’d be a good girl for my aunt.

“It was my seventh birthday.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “I’d been watching kids—kids my age—get on the school bus from our living room window for months. I wanted to join them…but I couldn’t.” His nostrils flare. “It was public school, for fuck’s sake, so it’s not like she had to pay for it. All she had to do was bring me up there and talk to someone about enrolling me, but things—drugs—kept getting in the way.”

“I told her I’d run away and tell the police she was a bad mom. That I hated her.” A deep frown mars his face. “I didn’t mean it. I just wanted to scare her, but it didn’t work.” The lump in my throat tightens and I silently implore him to keep going. “Instead, she pointed to the front door, screamed she didn’t want me…and told me to get out and never come back.” Anger wars with the sorrow burning in my chest. “Did you leave?” He shakes his head. “No. I went into my room—a closet with a few blankets on the ground—and cried like a little bitch for hours.”

“I found her on the kitchen floor with a needle near her arm. I called out, ‘Mom’ a few times, but she kept staring at the ceiling…not even blinking. I shook her…and she felt cold and stiff. The last thing I remember is squeezing her hand and telling her I was sorry.”

“According to my social worker, the landlord walked in and found me four days later…still clutching her hand. He thought we were both dead when he called the police, but then he saw me blink. Evidently, I didn’t talk for an entire week after. When I finally did, it was because I heard music playing and asked someone to turn the volume up.” A small smile touches his lips. “Come as You Are” by Nirvana.”

“You were a little boy being neglected by the person you needed most. You had every right to be upset and angry with her.” My heart folds in on itself. “It wasn’t your fault, Memphis. The path she was going down…it was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“She might still be here if it wasn’t for me.”

“Why are you crying?” Taking his free hand, I place it on my chest…right over the organ hammering out a painful rhythm for him. “Because you broke my heart.” Then crawled over the shattered pieces…and invaded all my layers. Carving himself a permanent place inside.

We’ve been walking on a tightrope, but we’re losing our balance. And now we only have two choices. Keep trying to fight the gravitational pull between us… Or fall.

I peer down at the lyric from Purple Haze scrawled in elegant black cursive on the left side of his rib cage. The one about kissing the sky. I can’t help but touch it. “That’s my song.” Amusement lights his face. “It’s Hendrix’s song.” My heart beats like a drum as I trace it with my finger. “Out of all the lines you could have gone with…you chose the one with my name.”

“There are only twelve verses,” he points out. “It’s my name.” “It’s my favorite song.” I pin him with a defiant glare. “I’m your favorite person.” A smirk pulls at the corner of his mouth. “That so?” “Tell me I’m not.” He goes quiet and I go back to tracing my name. “I think you might be mine.”

The damage—all the ugliness inside me—vanishes whenever we’re together…and in its place is something different. Something beautiful. Pure. Even when we’re arguing or he’s relentlessly teasing me, there’s still nowhere else I’d rather be than with him.

“I need you to know that if you ever tell me to stop, I will.” I freeze, processing his words. No one’s ever said that to me before. Every guy who’s touched me has treated my body like it was something to use. As though it were theirs to take whatever they wanted from it. I draw in a tattered breath. Memphis didn’t have to say it. I’ve known I was safe with him ever since he took that nail out of my foot. But the fact he did means more than he’ll ever know. “I’ll never tell you to stop.”