Faking Ms. Right (Dirty Martini Running Club, #1)

by Claire Kingsley

I feel attacked.

Did I really want to hear all about Millie’s diet? Not particularly. But it made Steve happy to have someone who listened, so I endured a little bit of cat conversation now and then. I figured if more people made an effort to be friendly, the world would be a much better place.

But I literally work in dental insurance. I support this.

“Should I clear your calendar?” I asked, knowing he was going to tell me he wasn’t going. He’d send Svetlana on the trip to appease her for breaking up. But I had to pretend I didn’t know that, and ask anyway.

Martini Mondays. Taco Tuesdays. Wine Wednesdays. Thirsty Thursdays. Fast-food Fridays (don’t judge).

the Dirty Martini Running Club.

“I’m just not interested,” she said. “I like my life the way it is. A man would only complicate things.”

Anytime she thought a guy was developing feelings for her, she’d fly out of there faster than my ex-boyfriend’s buddies when the bar tab was due.

It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem. It’s me.

“I don’t need a man to be satisfied with my life,” Hazel said.

Facts.

“I guess not,” I said. “But look at me. I’m thirty years old and still single. I might as well get a cat.”

Hunny I’m 35. Let’s compare notes in a few years.

“I asked my sister about that once.” My sister, Annie, was happily married to a woman, Miranda. “She described how she feels and I didn’t identify with any of it. I’m not gay. I like men. I just keep dating terrible ones.”

Please tell me he’s not dating Svetlana and that he didn’t go to Maui with her.

It was the way my dad slipped an arm around her waist and drew her against him that cut off my air supply.

Called it.

Just to make sure there wasn’t too much moisture. It would have been a shame to create a mildew issue in this beautiful bathroom.

This wasn’t for show. I was scared for Ethan—I was man enough to admit that—and holding her felt good. It felt right.

Is he playing guitar there?!?!?!

“Dive bar on the east side. Where you at?”

YES!!!!!!

Nora had been wrong about catching feelings. There was no catching involved. They smashed into me, shattering into my soul with a million tiny sparks, filling me with a warm tingly sensation. He turned back, meeting my gaze, a disarming openness in his eyes. Right there, in that exact moment, I did a terrible, terrible thing. I fell in love with my boss.

Because you’re so sexy all I want to do right now is launch myself at you.”

Without a second’s hesitation, he stood and yanked me off my stool. His strong hands held me tight against him as he leaned down and took my mouth in a hard kiss.

“We’re going home and I’m going to fuck the shit out of you when we get there.”

When we got in, I didn’t press the button for the penthouse. Instead, I selected the floor of my other condo. My escape. The place I never showed anyone.

Yes, daddy.

“Quiet. It’s… complicated. And who could blame me? He’s spectacular.” Especially the way he gets all growly when he comes… Focus, Everly.

But if he’d just wanted in my pants, he wouldn’t have had to show me his band. Or his secret hideaway. Was there really something happening between us? Something deeper than the raw power of sexual attraction?

Screaming. Crying. Throwing up. Punch me in the face.

“And don’t get her pregnant,” she said. “That’s almost as bad as getting married.” “That’s an interesting thing to say to your son.”

“No, take the bath.” He started cuffing the sleeves of his button-down shirt. “I want to watch.”

“In this case, absolutely,” he said.

“Oh, son.” He tossed back the rest of his whiskey. “If you haven’t figured it out yet, you will soon.” “Figured what out?” “You’re in love with that girl.”

Ummmm I love this.

It made me want to call Shepherd to tell him the news.

I think I’ve loved you since the moment you stepped out of that car in that goddamn red dress.

Obviously, I’d taken him up on that. Show off my hot bass player to my friends? Yes, please.

If a man could have actual stars in his eyes, or maybe little red hearts appearing around his face, Richard would have had them now.

Awwwww

“It wasn’t my secret to share,” I said.

“Grant and I have been talking about it, and I’d like to volunteer,” Ethan said. “We’ve already decided we’re not having kids. We’ve always known that. But we thought this would be a good thing to do.”

It feels like a perfect night For Shepherd to propose with the ring you fell in love with so long ago but didn’t want for your fake engagement.

“No, this is the same ring. May I?”

SHUT UP!

Oh yeah. I knew about the shampoo. I ordered it in bulk now, just in case they stopped making it someday.

I’m not crying. YOU’RE crying.