The Book of Azrael (Gods & Monsters, #1)

by Amber V. Nicole

“But it’s impossible. You cannot exist. The Ig’Morruthens died in the Gods War.”

We already have three of The Hand of Rashearim here. Anything that could kill them either died in the war or has been sealed away for centuries.

Ah, yes, the book. The reason we were running all over, searching Onuna.

Bloodthirsty Queen. It was who they were expecting, who they feared—and rightly so. She had earned her reputation over the centuries.

I took my place at Kaden’s right as the remainder of the attendees entered.

Even with the number of Otherworld creatures that had showed, I felt it still wasn’t enough for Kaden. He was their king—the king of all kings—and he wanted his due.

Family. The word echoed in my mind, and I felt my canines retract. The bloodlust nipped at my heels, begging me to succumb, to let my beast off the chain. Family. The word was like a pulse, reminding me that this wasn’t me. Each beat of my heart was for her, and remembering that she existed brought me back from the edge of madness. Family. This time the word was wrapped in the sound of my sister’s laughter, and with it came the memory.

“The fabled World Ender. The legend. The Son of Unir. Wielder of the Blade of Oblivion. And where is he?”

I knew I was deadly, cruel, and lethal. For her, for us, I had allowed Kaden to leash me. I had carved her a place of peace with claws and broken bones, paying for her safety with rivers of blood.

“Let me go,” I whispered. It was a request and a silent demand, one that meant more than where he had me now. One I often dreamed about when the fighting and violent nature of my life got to be too much. One I knew would never be granted. I ached for a life outside of this. A life with my sister. A life where I was loved and could be loved. Just a life. But I knew his answer before he spoke, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he meant it. Kaden leaned back, his eyes dancing over my face before he lifted my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Never.”

“Better to die by what you think is right than to live under a lie.”

This isn’t some movie you watch on TV, where everyone gets to live happily ever after. That’s not my world. It never was. There are no flowers, no cute words, and no sweet promises. My world is violent and real, and permanent.”

“You gave up everything for me, and now you’re forever bound to someone who will never love you, never care about you beyond what you can do for him.”

“Your eyes.” He twisted that blade once more. “I know what you are now. Beasts of legend whose eyes drip as red as the blood they consume. Only one breed of creature could wield that much strength and harness that much dark power: the Ig’Morruthen.”

“He can’t get his hands on that book,” Zekiel said, his voice barely a whisper. “You don’t even know who Azrael was. If he made a book and hid it, then it’s not meant for your kind to find.”

“And killing yourself is going to stop that? You know where it is?” He shook his head. “No, but my death will have a purpose. It will bring Samkiel back.”

“We tracked her to Valoel. I had Logan and Neverra watch them for a few days before deciding to engage. She was spotted out one night at a club.” My brows furrowed. “A club?” My brain ran through the mountains of information I had gained over the last few hours. “The stylized playing card with the clover or the bat, used in various games the mortals like to participate in?” Neverra silenced what sounded like a small chuckle as Logan cleared his throat. “No, here it is similar to the festivities like Gariishamere. Except with more clothing and fewer orgies.” He paused and tipped his head in thought. “Sometimes.” Vincent rubbed his temples. “That last bit of information was unnecessary.”

“What shall you have me do, Father?” “Simple. Use the title you have earned,” Unir said. “End worlds, my son.”

“The Ig’Morruthens are an arrogant species, but they are not ignorant. They are smart and calculated, which makes them more than a normal threat.”

“We were talking about monsters and how looks can be deceiving.” “Ah, yes, but a monster is still a monster, no matter how pretty it is.”

My gaze stayed fixed on him. “Go fuck yourself.” Confusion flickered in his expression. I rolled my eyes and snapped at Logan, “Translate that for him.” When he did, Liam’s nostrils flared for a split second, as if no one had dared to speak to him that way before.

“I can’t do this anymore. I know you love me, and I love you, too. But, Dianna, I can’t be the reason you suffer. It hurts me to know that you have to stay with him because of me. All I ever wanted was for both of us to be happy. You can’t protect me forever. There was no point in saving me if I can’t even live.”

“I won’t risk exposure coming for you. This is a fortress meant to hold, Dianna. Besides, we are too close now. The book is what is important, not you.” I didn’t look at him, facing the wall and keeping my head against my arms. “Maybe this will teach you to listen to me. You got yourself into this. Get yourself out.”

“I have lived for several millennia,” his deep voice echoed from the back of the crowd, “and surprising me is hard to do. But you continue to surprise me.” “Hello, lover. I missed you, too,” I purred. The crowd parted, and Liam appeared. I held Logan up by his torn collar. “I have something for you.”

Blood of my blood, my life is sealed with yours until the deal is made complete. I grant you my maker’s life in exchange for my sister’s life. She shall remain free, unharmed, and alive, or the deal is broken. My life is yours after, to do with what you must.”

“Blood of my blood, my life is sealed with yours until the deal is made complete. I grant you your sister’s life, free, unharmed, and alive, for your maker’s life, or the deal is broken. In return, your life is mine…” He paused, his next words making me wish I had other options. “… to do with what I must.”

“Does the ground frequently shake here?” I quietly asked Gabby behind me. She shook her head. “That’s not a quake. That’s my sister.”

Tobias and Alistair showed up and almost killed Logan, one of Liam’s men and Neverra’s mate. Anyway, I saw his dying thoughts through his blood, and they were all of her.” I stopped, pointing toward the door Neverra had left through. “That was it—no malice or cruelty. Everything he felt was just love and happiness, and I couldn’t do it. So, when Alistair moved in to finish Logan, I killed Alistair.”

Kaden’s ego is almost as big as yours, if not more so. He won’t tell anyone about me killing Alistair because it would make him seem weak. He will not advertise that he couldn’t control the woman he created. I would bet he is already weaving a story about how the great World Ender overpowered Alistair and took his favorite toy.”

“We’re going to have to communicate if we’re going to work together, you know.” I popped another piece of candy in my mouth and grinned at him. His face held no humor, as usual. “I am busy.”

Puzzlement filled his expression. “Kaden would be angrier that he lost his allies than by the fact that he’s lost his consort?” The corner of my lips twitched. “‘Consort’? What does that even mean?” “You both derive pleasure from each other. That is what you said. Yet Kaden does not care enough about you to make you his…” Liam paused, his brow furrowing as if he were searching for the word. “The mortal word for it is wife, I believe.”

“If you call me a consort one more time, I will incinerate this convoy with you in it.” “It is perfectly fine to have consorts. I’ve had many. Almost all the gods did—male and female—but they do not mean anything. You do not mean anything.” My chest tightened. I knew that, and it was one reason among many why I was here. “Gods, you’re a fucking joy to be around.”

“It was not my intent to offend you, Miss Martinez. If we are to work together, we need to at least be honest. Communicate, as you put it.” “Oh, so you do listen to me.” “It would be nearly impossible not to, with the high pitch of your voice every time you speak.”

So, Nephry was Logan’s real name.

Maybe it was because I hadn’t had sex in a month, but Liam naked was a work of fucking art. I would never tell him, but seeing him even half naked made my mouth water, my nipples tighten, and my core clench. I couldn’t deny my physical responses to him, but it changed nothing. He was still a prick.

“Please, do not insult me, Miss Martinez. The desire to touch you is, and will always be, the farthest thing from my mind or intentions.”

It was at that moment that I figured it out—why Liam was the way he was, and why he didn’t care about his looks. I knew why he was so abrasive and so closed off to everyone, even those he claimed were his friends. He was consumed with grief and overwhelmed with pain. Liam was mourning.

“I did what you asked of me, Father. I did what you begged of me! You wanted a king, so I became a king. So, why? Why will you not let me rest?”

“It’s okay to not be okay, Liam.”

We are stuck together for this crazy mission. If you’re wrong about the book, the world will probably end, so why not call a truce? We should stop fighting and try to be friends.” She held her hand up, cutting me off as I went to speak. “It’s just while we have to work together. The two of us bumping heads all the time is getting us nowhere.” “That I can agree upon.” “Good, that’s a start. And while we’re together, you can share your burdens with me. I promise not to judge or ridicule or make you feel less than because of them. Your burdens become my burdens.”

“So, in light of our newly formed alliance, I’ll help you with your nightmares. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than the people you care about, and I promise not to share anything you tell me, okay?”

“Very well. How do you intend to help me?” She scooted backward on the bed until there was enough room for me and patted the space next to her. My curiosity turned to concern. “Come here, and I’ll show you.” I had heard similar words before, spoken by celestials and goddesses alike. Usually, it was an invitation, and they were soon upon their knees, worshiping me with their hands, mouth, and tongue. My pulse quickened, the blood in my ears thrumming as it threatened to travel elsewhere. I tried to speak, but my mouth had gone dry. I cleared my throat and tried again, managing to say, “There is only one bed.”

“I promise to be on my best behavior, Your Majesty. Your virtue is safe with me,” she said and pressed her hand over her heart. “I promise.”

All the celestials were created by one god or another. The celestials are not born, and they have a shadow of our powers.”

“Well, as you told me, you’re not a person—not really.” It was my turn to be shocked. I raised up on my elbow. “Oh, so you do listen to me?” Her eyes softened as a smile lit up her face. I froze, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe. I had never seen her truly smile—not a real one. It brightened her face, making her seem almost godlike. “I only listen every time you talk. How could I not? You’re usually complaining—loudly.”

She waited patiently. I held her gaze, and it took a few moments, but I did what she asked and closed my eyes. Her breath was a whisper, the rich, spicy scent of her washing over me. I could feel the heat of her body inviting me to move closer. I was not nervous, but another emotion was crawling through me. It was like tiny needles were dancing across my skin. I was feeling an odd combination of anxiety and anticipation.

“Can I touch you?” My eyes threatened to fly open, but I remained still. I was thousands of years old and had done things Dianna could not even dream of, yet her question set my blood to boil. I did not move, and my breath hitched as I said, “Yes.”

Maybe I did need a different sort of release. It was something I had deprived myself of for centuries. Then again, I had not had the desire until now. Dianna was forbidden, but no ...

Her words struck a chord in me, dampening the spark of lust and replacing it with another emotion. It was more than overwhelming, and this other emotion was one I wasn’t familiar with. It was something warm and happy, but also sharp and painful. I had lived alone with a harrowing emptiness for so long that I wasn’t sure what to do with warmth and peace. The words could not encompass the feelings, and we shared more than she knew.

She slid her fingers through my hair, her nails a light whisper upon my scalp. She did not have to tell me to close my eyes again; I did it all on my own.