The Book of Azrael (Gods & Monsters, #1)

by Amber V. Nicole

Her hand went under her chin as she eyed me. “Why do you call it a monster, little one?” I opened my mouth, then stopped. Could she not see it? “Because that is what it is?” I turned it back to her and pointed at the shapes I had crafted. “See the teeth and claws?” “I see it.” She reached inside the woven basket, pulling out a single flower. It was yellow with black dots lining the petals. “And what do you think of this?” I shrugged. “It is a flower.” “Yes, but do you think it’s pretty?” “Yes.” “Do you know that a single petal can be toxic? It can even make a god sick if enough of it is consumed. So, even this could be a monster. It does not need teeth, claws, or any other scary feature to be deadly.” I watched as she slowly spun the flower by the stem, the sun dancing off the colorful petals. It was pretty, but it looked harmless. “So, it can hurt someone? Kill?” She nodded before placing it back into her basket. “In the right hands, yes, but give it a good home, a little care, and it can heal, too.” She wiped her hands on her dress and stood in one graceful motion, smiling down at me. “So, you see, looks can be deceiving.”

“This. Seriously, what are you going to do? Torture me? I thought you were the special chosen one who believed in peace and all things good in the world. Or, wait—are you going to hit me? Slap me around a little? If you do it hard enough, I might like it.”

“Do you really want to risk more lives for someone that means absolutely nothing to you?” “She is innocent. Therefore, she means everything.”

That got my attention. “You stabbed him? Gabby, I am so proud!” They both shot me a glare as I held my hand up for a high five. I shrugged and lowered it as Gabby shook her head.

The world went black, but a tug and a sharp, piercing pain in my chest pulled me back to reality. I wavered in and out of consciousness, Liam’s irritation a familiar comfort in a sea of agony. Tug. “—infuriating—” Tug. “—disobedient—” Tug. “—aggravating woman⁠—” As the last needle left my chest, I felt like I was floating. I was cradled against a hard, warm surface, my arms and legs hanging limply. My eyesight grew blurry, the effects of the poison taking over.

It was at that moment that I figured it out—why Liam was the way he was, and why he didn’t care about his looks. I knew why he was so abrasive and so closed off to everyone, even those he claimed were his friends. He was consumed with grief and overwhelmed with pain. Liam was mourning.

“You are absolutely tormenting. You realize that, correct?” “I love it when you flirt with me.” I winked, causing a vein to pop forward on his forehead, which only made me laugh. If he could have killed me on the spot, I knew he would have.

“Your burdens become my burdens?” My brow quirked. “Yes,” she said. It was as if a pebble had dropped into the middle of a quiet lake. In the grand scheme of things, it meant nothing. Yet it started a small, seemingly insignificant ripple, and something shifted. “Okay.”

Her eyes softened as a smile lit up her face. I froze, and for a moment, I forgot how to breathe. I had never seen her truly smile—not a real one. It brightened her face, making her seem almost godlike.

I reached forward, placing my hand atop his and squeezing once. He glanced down at my hand before meeting my gaze again. He was so wrapped in sadness that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it before. When I’d first met him, the shell of what I thought a god would be, I’d only seen arrogance, hatred, and contempt in his gaze. But there was so much more than that. I’d thought maybe it was a result of containing too much power, or maybe he had just grown tired of living. But when I looked at him through the lens of last night, I saw grief, sadness, anxiety, and pain. He was in so much pure, raw pain.

“Quiet, you.” He snorted, this time nudging me with his shoulder.

She claimed everyone was staring at me, but I had noticed every eye that lingered upon her since we entered this obnoxious place. At last count, it was forty-five—no, wait, there was another, make it forty-six. I told myself I was only keeping track for safety reasons, nothing more.

I decided then and there that this woman should never beg. I understood she cared for her sister, but who cared for her? At that moment, she seemed so innocent. She was not the vicious, fire-wielding beast I had first met. She was just a girl who had been born into chaos. Kaden had backed her into a corner, her choices taken until she had reformed herself into a weapon. She had become what she needed to be to protect the only person who still saw good in her.

I didn’t remember how long we talked, but somewhere amidst her laughter and smiles, I decided I would rip the world apart for her.

“You already consume my every waking thought. Must you consume my dreams as well?”

“Let him be.” Liam’s voice was a soft growl, making me pause. He was watching me as I spun. He always watched me, especially when he thought I wasn’t looking. “I do not care. During large engagements, all goddesses and celestials wore similar garments on my world. Some flowed well past their feet, others barely touched the ground, but they all shimmered and shined like starlight upon the darkened sky. They were truly beautiful … and so are you. You are a queen and should be draped in the finest fabrics, not the cheap faux material he chose.”

He held his hand out, his pinkie extended. “Promise?” My chest tightened. “I thought you didn’t want to promise anymore?” “I am allowed to change my mind,” he said, nodding toward my hand. I smiled and held out my pinkie, and he grasped it with his. The act was so pure, yet it sent a small bolt of electricity to my very core. “Yes, I promise.”

“Dianna is different. I have seen evil. I’ve seen it born, what it craves, and how it acts. She may be stubborn and erratic. At times, she is rude or crass, even violent or dangerous, but not evil—not even a little bit.”

“On Rashearim, we had a flower that put the beauty of this one to shame. It had rings of yellow and blue that moved in waves across the petals when you touched it. It was called orneliamus, or liam for short. They were my mother’s favorite, and a symbol of strength and protection. They could adapt to any climate and were so sturdy, they were nearly impossible to kill. It took the death of the planet to eradicate them.” His eyes flickered to mine before he strode over and sat beside me. He angled the stem of the flower toward me, offering it to me. I felt my heart skip as I reached out to accept it. He gave me a small smile before he rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands together in front of him. “I wanted to be that.” Liam had given me a flower. A simple fucking flower, and my world tilted. It was the first time any man had given me flowers. It was the stupidest thing for me to obsess over, but this tiny yellow plant suddenly meant the world to me. I hated the way my stomach flipped as I glanced at it in my hand. Gabby got flowers, not me—never me. “The great and powerful King of All, named after a flower. How ironic.”

When I’d seen her distress and his hand on her, I’d known I would make his death slow and painful. I had almost ripped him to pieces then and there, yet she had calmed me.

“I am a destroyer. The World Ender in every aspect, I am everything you should fear. I mean that with every ounce of my being, and not in the egotistical way Dianna assumes. I have burnt worlds to their core and slain beasts large enough to devour this castle. The books were not wrong about any of that. I have always been a weapon for my throne, my kingdom, and my family. The Gods War started because of me. My world is gone because of me. How is there any room left in me to love?” It was quiet for a moment, and I wondered if he finally understood me enough to not make jokes or wise quips. I glanced at him to see he was staring at the same ember in the fireplace. His throat bobbed once before he spoke, but I smelled no fear in the air. His voice was softer, and there was no hint of the trickster that had been with us the last few weeks. “Don’t you know? Love is the purest form of destruction there is.”

She’s just a girl who survived out of sheer force of will, and that makes her stronger than us.

“You came for me,” she said, looking up at me through her thick lashes. I swear, I melted.

“Hey, look at me. You would have to be an ignorant fool not to think you are anything but extraordinary, Dianna.”

“So forceful.”