Sasha (Belles & Mobsters, #6)

by Eva Winners

Obsession was dangerous. Especially for the Nikolaev men. When we lost our heads, the world burned. People died.

The fear of losing her and this time not being able to reach her was too raw.

“Stop fighting me or you’ll change my mind and I will fuck you,” I threatened, pushing my hips into her. “I’ll push deep inside your tight pussy and let it strangle my cock. You’ll scream my name all night long.”

The glimpse of fear in them just about gutted me. I stilled. I never wanted to see her scared. I’d protect her from everyone and anyone. Even myself.

She thought she could have married Killian, walk away from me. Forget about me. It left me feeling hollow. Unworthy. Unlovable.

“Why do you want me now?” Her voice was low. “You didn’t come back and now—” She let out a shuddering breath. “Now you’re bulldozing your way into my life.”

Fuck! The pain in her voice clawed at my chest. The worst part, I caused this one. I couldn’t kill the person who caused it because I was the culprit.

Her smell made my head fuzzy. Her pain made my throat tight. Her smile made my heart fucking glow.

“I waited, Branka,” I told her.

I hoped she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

Love was an obsession. Passion. Disaster. And I was well on my way to it.

“Grief is like waking up in a parallel universe where everything looks the same. But you’re not. You become a shadow of your former self, watching the world turn and lose hope that there’s something better for you.

All I wanted was to make her happy. To have her melt in my arms. To see her smile.

Branka was so fucking strong. Resilient. I wanted her to see herself as I saw her. I wanted her to own all of it. The good. The bad. The ugly. Because it made her who she was.

We both knew she hid behind a mask of what others expected her to be. But I saw her. Now I wanted her to see me.

I didn’t want them to think I was anything like my father. Vengeful. Bloodthirsty. Evil.

But fear was a bitch. Anger was an even bigger one.

I wouldn’t be one of those girls who would sit and wait for someone to rescue me. No fucking way. I’d save myself, thank you very much.

Whatever the hell it was, I was under his spell. Like the eye of the hurricane, he was sucking me into a whirlwind of emotions.

“One of these days, I’m going to fill you with my cum,” he growled.

“Dessert time,” he rasped. “And you better watch me devour you. So you remember who this pussy belongs to.”

“Your blood is mine,” he claimed, the look of pure obsession in his eyes. “Your body is mine. Your soul is mine. You’re all mine, kotyonok.”

“Such a good girl for me. Look how right we are together,” he praised as he started to thrust faster. “So goddamned right.”

“Mine,” he rumbled, sending shivers down my spine. “And I’ll kill them all if they try to take you.”

Just the thought of losing her sent a slight tremble to my hands.

I did the right thing. I fucking waited. Seven goddamn years. But now, I took her virginity. She was mine and nobody could take her from me.

I held her hand just because I could and she was so soft. She didn’t try to pull her hand away and my chest warmed.

I couldn’t get enough of her. I loved her in my space.

Each soft look by her burned a hole in my chest and tattooed her name in bold letters onto my heart.

And suddenly, I knew. There’d be no moving on from Branka Russo in this life. Only in death.

The gaze of rainy clouds met mine and pulled on my heart. It was in that very moment, that very fucking moment, I realized I loved this woman. It wasn’t the sweet kind of love. Or gentle. It was the burning kind that would tear down the world and everyone in it if she left me.

She might not love me, but she desired me. I’d use that and make her love me. I just needed time.

I’d fuck love into her, have her forget about everything and everyone but me. Yes, good plan.

this motherf----- whooooo boi you're about to give me an aneurism.

If I impregnate her, she’d stay with me. Never leave me. Branka was loyal, almost to a fault, and our baby would have all her loyalty.

Sasha, please. This is not the right way, damn psychopath.

I wanted to please him. I wanted to be his everything. Just like he was quickly becoming my everything.

“You chase my ghosts away, kotyonok. I’m going to kill yours.”

Maybe she was my cure all along.

As I owned every inch of her body and whispered of our future together, I still wanted more. I wanted her words of love. Those remained locked tightly behind her beautiful lips. We had time though. I’d earn it. As long as she was with me.

And me, I was so deep into her that even the word “love” faded in comparison.

There was only one way I could even look at her. With the maddest, deepest obsession.

Eeeeey

She was so beautiful, it fucking hurt to look at her. I wanted her to see herself the way I saw her. Perfect. Every. Goddamn. Inch. She was just perfect.

If I died right now, I’d die happy. With her eyes watching me like I was her whole world.

“Ya tebya lyublyu, kotyonok,” I whispered into her ear. It was the first time I said “I love you” to a woman. Any woman.

“So you obviously want to marry her. What’s the fucking issue?” Vasili questioned. The fucking issue was that I didn’t want to force her to marry me. I wanted her to choose me. To want to marry me. Of course, I hoped she’d get knocked up. Insurance.

She dismissed me like I was nothing to her. I’d burn down this world for her and she treated this thing between us like it was just sex. I’d give my life just to hear her say she loved me. Once.

I was in so fucking deep and she was ready to just walk away. Without talking. Without working through it.

I needed more time. The rest of our lives.

“This… you and me… it’s for life, kotyonok,” I rasped. “I waited too long to give you up now.”

If I was unworthy, I’d find a way to be worthy of her. I wanted her to choose me willingly. But that couldn’t happen if she ran from me.

I wanted her to love me and want to stay with me because fuck if I was letting her go. I wouldn’t be so deep into us alone. She’d be neck-deep into it too.